Wide Eyes Terrified
by Chizwiffle
Summary: Updated: Chapter 15. Peter learns just how harmful loving Edmund can be. The question is, will he realize before it manages to destroy them both? Will he be able to cope, knowing its his love that puts Edmund in danger?
1. Chapter 1

**Title**: Wide Eyes Terrified

**Author**: Shauna

**Disclaimer**: Don't own 'em, just love 'em.

**Rating**: Putting this one up at R for themes and events.

**Summary**: Peter learns just how harmful loving Edmund can be. The question is, will he realize before it manages to destroy them both? Will he be able to cope, knowing its his love that puts Edmund in danger? (this is NOT SLASH)

**Author's Note**: I've been working on this for months, and am only just now posting it. Its my first Narnia fic so please go easy on me for any mistakes. It is set not too far into the future. They have been Royalty maybe for a year I guess if you really want to know. This is ridiculously angsty, I'm warning you now, and it is NOT SLASH. I repeat, NOT SLASH. There is no incest, or anything of the sort, it is merely brotherly/sisterly love.

**Dedication**: I am dedicating this one to my girlies: rae, red, and custard! ;) They are soooo amazing, and I am in love with their works. This one goes out to you, for being some of the most amazing people I've met in this fandom. :) I would also like to Dedicate this to OchEEcho and Capegio, for pushing me to post this (and blackmailing me no less!). Everyone should go read their works because they are some of the best on this site.

* * *

"Three weeks vacation? That's enough to make anyone rejoice!" Lucy exclaimed loudly, draining half her glass in one large gulp. Susan eyed her reprovingly, but was unable to remove the smile from her face. 

"Apparently Oreius has observed no questionable activities of any sort as of late." Peter spoke. Lucy turned to Edmund, eyes bright and saluted him with her cup before taking a sip. Edmund returned the gesture, taking a sip from his own cup.

"Where is Oreius anyway?" Lucy asked. Peter shrugged his shoulders as all eyes turned to him.

"Probably working on some business as usual; he never really finds the time to come down here, after all, he is head of the guard." The blonde king responded.

"Humph, business. One should always make time for vacations if you ask me." Lucy exclaimed. Susan fingered her fork idly before placing it down again. She eyed Lucy brightly, nodding in agreement.

"Well at least its business that we don't have to deal with right now." The others nodded their heads in agreement. Lucy left to get more to drink, as Edmund finished off his second cup. Looking over, he saw Peter's untouched glass; with a small shrug he grasped the cup and took a large gulp while Peter watched, grinning animatedly at Peter's obvious amusement.

"So what's first on our agenda, now that we have nothing to do for three weeks?" Lucy asked, returning.

Edmund took another long gulp from Peter's cup, and began coughing. Peter clapped him on the back as their brother struggled to regain his breath. The sisters stopped and watched worried as Edmund continued to cough. When the coughing finally subsided Edmund glanced up cheekily at the worried faces around him.

"Sorry, went down the wrong pipe!" he grinned. The joyous atmosphere restored itself, and the siblings continued their friendly banter, allowing the occasion to keep them up far into the night.

* * *

Later on, Peter and Edmund slowly walked along the balcony, enjoying their night off. Both kings took every advantage their reprieve offered them, and it showed in the content looks upon their faces. Edmund took another sip from Peter's cup, which he had taken from the hall, smirking at his brother. 

"You know, the Heavens sure picked a great night to look so lovely." Peter remarked, idly looking up. Edmund coughed and nodded, following his brother's gaze. "They're just as beautiful as they were the night you almost died…" Peter whispered to himself, hands gripping the railing tightly. Edmund caught this movement and turned questioning eyes on his older brother. When Peter refused to look back, Edmund placed a slim hand atop his brother's, squeezing gently. The action evoked a response from Peter, who glanced down at his brother.

"It's finished. She's dead- and she will not harm us again." Edmund whispered, matching Peter's quiet voice, reassuring his brother as he had done many times before. Peter swallowed, closing his eyes in an attempt to quell the memories that threatened to overwhelm him. It had been almost a year since that day, yet the memories still continued to plague him. Edmund turned Peter to face him, placing his glass on the railing and resting both hands against his brother's face.

"Peter look at me." Peter's eyes opened at his brother's gentle request as he fought to calm himself. "She's dead, she cannot hurt me." Edmund whispered sincerely, bringing Peter's forehead down to press against his. Edmund gazed at his brother intently, watching the myriad of emotions flicker through the bright blue eyes he knew so well.

"_She's dead, she cannot hurt me." But who says someone else won't? I can't lose you again Ed. You were stolen from me once; I can't- I won't- let you be stolen from me again._

"I'm not going to leave you Peter." Edmund murmured, reading Peter's thoughts, something only he had ever been able to do. Peter nodded numbly, staring into the intense brown eyes of his brother. Edmund smiled gently, moving his hands to Peter's shoulders, though their foreheads remained touching. "I promise." And Peter allowed those words to wash over him like the waves they stood above. As a faded melody, muted and distant, Peter let those two words wind around his heart, calming him with their ghostly harmony. Edmund watched Peter's face slowly relax, and allowed himself to relax also.

"Feel better?" he asked lightly. Peter smiled slightly in return, but Edmund could see it was genuine. He turned back to the stars, hands dropping from Peter's shoulders to lean against the railing. Peter gazed at his brother's profile, noting the soft smile gently gracing his lips. _And I promise never to leave you Ed._ Edmund spoke up again, picking up as though nothing had happened.

"It's rather a pity that Susan never takes the time to enjoy this." he replied nodding down towards Susan's room. The candles flickered, illuminating their sister as she poured over transcripts at her desk. Peter gave a breathy sigh, shaking his head in wonderment at the sight. He smiled, eyes returning to their earlier cheer.

"Sometimes I just don't understand how Lucy can put up with her." the blonde king spoke.

"How Lucy can put up with her? Are you kidding? I can't understand how Susan puts up with Lucy!" Edmund joked, laughing. He coughed once more, clearing his throat, turning back to glance over the wall of the balcony. Peter turned as well.

"You sure you don't mind me drinking this?" Edmund asked, glancing at his brother. Peter nodded.

"It's not as though I were about to drink it, so you might as well." He responded.

The dark-haired youth grinned cheekily, taking another sip from his cup. There was silence for a few moments as the boys stood side by side, hair gently caressed by the votive zephyrs carried upon the waves. Edmund was the first to break the silence as he rested his chin on his hand.

"I suppose we'll have another really long mission coming up." he spoke, changing the subject. Peter turned to him, eyes questioning. Edmund shrugged, staring down into his drink.

"We usually get time off before things pile up, which sends us on a really long or really dangerous mission." he continued. Peter understood his sentiments, and turned towards the sea once more. Beside him, Edmund coughed again, but this time it was a deep cough that shook his entire body. Peter turned to him suspiciously.

"Maybe you should get that checked out?" he asked, studying his brother's face closely. Edmund waved it off lightly.

"Nah its nothing, nothing to worry about." he shrugged once more, turning away. Peter continued to stare at Edmund suspiciously, but eventually shrugged also as they continued walking. Below them, they could see Lucy on the beach, shoes in hand, her small feet splashing through the surf. Peter nodded towards their sister, who was watching her footprints wash away with each wave of the incoming tide.

"She always finds something to enjoy, even in the most boring of things." He remarked, grinning. Edmund smiled brightly, turning to him.

"That's what makes her Lucy though. Susan used to be the same way; I just hope that Lucy doesn't grow out of it like Su did. At least she has Tumnus spend time with." he exclaimed, nodding down towards the beach. Mr. Tumnus was swiftly but silently moving towards Lucy, apparently to sneak up on her. Lucy continued to walk, engrossed in the imprint and fade of her footprints in the warm evening water, unaware of the silent faun coming up behind her. Peter and Edmund turned to each other, grinning.

"Something tells me this is going to be rather amusing." Peter stated, smirking slightly.

"Something tells me someone is going to get wet." Edmund quipped. The two kings watched fondly as Tumnus sneaked up behind Lucy, who screamed in fright. Upon realizing it was only Mr. Tumnus she then proceeded to shower him with water. The brothers chuckled, high-fiving each other before swiftly heading towards the stairs at the corner of the balcony. Peter frowned when he heard yet more coughing coming from dark-haired youth. He turned instinctively, casting a querying glance at his younger brother. "Edmund?" he asked, worry mounting when Edmund did not respond.

Edmund continued walking, though his lungs felt as though they were on fire. There was a rushing sound in his ears, as he fought to breathe evenly. Dimly he could hear Peter call his name worriedly, but he could not get enough air in to respond. The glass fell from his hand, shattering on the stones. He fell to his knees, doubling over as the coughing became worse.

Peter watched almost in slow motion as the glass fell and shattered. He jumped at the noise, time seeming to start again, and fear gripped his heart in its icy claw as Edmund fell to his hands and knees. He swiftly dropped beside his brother; clutching Edmund tightly to his chest. Deep wracking coughs shook his brother's body with no signs of subsiding. The world seemed to spiral, or at least Peter's did; it narrowed into one single point, a point he could not seem to reach.

"Edmund!" he cried, trying once more to reach his brother.

"Pe...Pe...P'ter!" Edmund managed to cry out. It was a small, strangled cry, one of desperation. His world was spinning, spinning and lurching and spiraling with a sickening force. Peter could feel the shudders enveloping Edmund's form, and he tried desperately to calm him down. Edmund continued to cough, chest heaving with exertion. Peter gasped, terrified, as the coughs wrenched Edmund forcefully from his grasp. Edmund bent over and, if it were possible, the coughs became even worse. Peter stared, hands grasping his brother more tightly, petrified of what he was witnessing. Completely at a loss for what to do, he held Edmund as his brother coughed into his own hands, face close to the balcony floor.

Just as quickly as it had begun, it was over. A strange silence filled the air, punctuated only by the harsh sounds of the dark-haired king struggling to get his breathing under control. Edmund sat back on his heels and leaned into Peter's shoulder, eyes closed. Peter held his brother, rubbing soothing circles upon his back, hoping to help in some small way. He felt completely useless, scared about what had just happened. _What if it happens again? What if its worse next time? What's wrong with my brother!_ Eventually Edmund managed to open his eyes, and looked down at his hands. With his brother's head against his chest, Peter felt more than heard the small gasp that escaped Edmund. He glanced at his brother and was met by Edmund's shocked stare. Peter's eyes widened as well as he looked down, following Edmund's line of vision. Staring down at Edmund's hands, he knew then that something was terribly, terribly wrong.

Edmund's hands were covered in blood.

* * *

If you think this chapter went a little fast, it was supposed to. So don't flame me telling me it was, because I will laugh and be happy that it worked out that way. 

Please please review. I live for them and I am very insecure about my writing. If this one does not get enough reviews I will most likely not post any more, even though I have more chapters ready and waiting.


	2. Chapter 2

**Disclaimer**:Don't own 'em, just love 'em.**  
**

**Author's Note**: Ok, I can't tell you everything but here goes. 1) No Ed does not have TB. This is something that I made up, so the symptoms may appear like other stuff, but I didn't have a specific illness in mind. 2)The scene where Ed reassures Peter was written to go fast, because its not the first time its happened. I tried to showed that its a regular incident, and Ed knows exactly what to do; he's efficient. And we all know Peter, he can't help himself. 3) You won't be finding out what's wrong with Ed for about counts, ADHD hits and she forgets what she was doing Ok you won't know for a while. So bear with me. There is a reason you don't know much. ;) There's a reason its never from Ed's POV. 4) Sorry about any grammar problems. I'm editing not only this chapter but basically all of them at the same time, so if I miss the commas, than pardon me. Unless you all would like me to go back and check that instead of posting next time? ;) 

**Dedication**: This chapter must be dedicated to OhcEEcho, because it was her updating that made me post today. And Capegio, because I love her. And a special shoutout to all my reviewers! dies I can't believe how many I got! I was expecting maybe, two? squishes you all

* * *

Peter wasted no time in helping his brother to his feet, placing one of Edmund's arms across his shoulders. His younger brother coughed weakly, leaning unsteadily into Peter's support. Together they made their way down the balcony steps, Peter leading, as Edmund never took his eyes from the blood on his hand. As they stepped onto the beach, Lucy and Tumnus looked up from their revelry, taking in the sight before them. Quickly the queen and the faun made their way over to the pair. 

"Edmund!" Lucy cried, running up to her brothers.

"What happened?" Tumnus asked, worried. Edmund remained unresponsive, lost in the blood on his hand. The faun was extremely unnerved by this, and he moved to help Peter, placing Edmund's other arm about his own shoulders. Together the four quickly made their way towards the castle. Lucy walked next to Peter, studying Edmund closely, but her older brother never lifted his head from where he had been staring. It frightened Lucy, to see that Edmund did not even notice she was there.

"I'll explain later." Peter mouthed quickly to Tumnus. The two felt Edmund's breathing quicken and without warning, the young king's eyes rolled back and he collapsed, sagging against Peter. Tumnus and Peter were a bit surprised, and almost fell themselves with the dark-haired sibling. Lucy cried out in shock, eyes wide, and her tiny hands flew up to cover her mouth. Peter wasted no time in gathering Edmund into his arms, cradling his brother to his chest. His terror intensified, threatening to overwhelm him. Instinctively he clutched Edmund tighter to him, closing his eyes for a brief moment. He knew he had to be strong, strong for Lucy, and strong for Edmund; now was not the time to panic. He took a deep breath, inhaling the familiar scent that was his brother, allowing it to clear his mind.

"I'll alert the others." Tumnus spoke, vanishing quickly into the darkness. Peter's head snapped up at Tumnus words, before he realized he had been standing there for merely a few seconds. Lucy exchanged a glance with Peter before running ahead of them, leading the brothers towards Edmund's chambers. She threw open the door to the room, helping Peter to lay their brother down on his bed. Lucy looked imploringly at Peter, eyes alight with distress. Peter took his eyes off Edmund for a moment, turning to Lucy, who looked ready to cry. Peter bent down, arms wide, and Lucy ran into them, burying her face in her brother's chest.

"Its ok Lu, Ed's just a little sick. He'll be fine in no time, don't you worry." Peter spoke, voice soft, though his eyes were wide with terror. Lucy's head snapped up. "The cordial!" she exclaimed, "Peter he'll be ok in just a second!" she said resolutely, running from the room to retrieve the precious drink.

Tumnus came through the door not long after, Susan close on his heels, both with questions in their eyes. Peter sighed.

"He's been coughing all night. At first it wasn't too bad, but just now it became the worst it's been." He picked up one of Edmund's hands, angling it so Susan could see the blood staining their brother's pale skin. Susan's eyes widened, but Lucy came through the door before she could respond. Peter quickly turned Edmund's hand back over, hiding the blood from his youngest sister.

"I have it!" Lucy exclaimed excitedly, immediately clambering onto the bed on Edmund's other side. Peter glanced up at Susan, then Tumnus, then over at Lucy. Lucy glanced exasperatedly at her brother. "Well come on! Help me!" she said, motioning towards Edmund. Peter immediately sat behind his brother and lifted Edmund into a sitting position, body resting against Peter's, tilting the raven-haired head back so Lucy could tip a drop of the cordial into his mouth. Remembering this situation clearly upon the battlefield not long ago, remembering these same emotions surfacing on the balcony, remembering Edmund soothing him, Peter fought down the fear that threatened to overwhelm him once more.

Everyone watched with bated breath as Edmund appeared to swallow, but it was the only movement they saw. His head lolled to the side, resting in the crook of Peter's neck. Peter did not need to touch Edmund's forehead to feel the heat emanating from his form. Peter delicately lowered his brother back to the bed, watching the raven-dark hair form a halo around Edmund's freckled face. The minutes ticked on, and nothing seemed to change. The siblings stared, horrified; their younger brother remained unresponsive.

"Why didn't it work?" Lucy cried, hands clutching the sheets of the bed. Susan and Peter exchanged a shocked glance, neither knowing the answer.

"Just what exactly is wrong with him!" Susan shrieked, her calm composure finally collapsing in the face of this deep danger.

"I don't know Susan. He's been coughing all night, and it got progressively worse." Peter exclaimed quietly, a stark contrast to his sisters' raised voices. Oreius entered, followed closely by the healer. Lucy moved away from Edmund to allow the healer room to examine the dark-haired king. Peter remained on Edmund's other side, watching the healer work, as he retold what had happened up on the balcony to all in the room. The healer listened as he worked, soaking up the information quietly, face impassive.

"When did these symptoms start?" he asked, for clarification, when Peter had finished.

"He coughed a couple of random times up on the balcony, but it didn't sound bad - more like he was merely clearing his throat. At least-in the beginning it didn't." Peter answered quietly.

"What about that one time during dinner?" Lucy cut in.

"That was merely because it went down the wrong pipe though." Susan responded, ever logical; but Peter could see that she was trying once more to appear calm for Lucy's sake. "He said so himself." The elder queen exclaimed, motioning to Edmund. Edmund seemed to hear Susan, for he tossed his head feverishly, moaning. Oreius quietly left the room, returning quickly with a cloth and some cold water. He silently handed them to Peter, who nodded his thanks. Gently he wrung the cloth out and placed it upon Edmund's forehead, attempting to cool him down.

"The temperature is recent." Tumnus remarked, studying Edmund's face. The healer turned to Peter, who nodded in agreement.

"Everything is quite recent." He embellished. "Yesterday he was fine. And there were no problems today until earlier this evening, in the dining hall." He looked back down at Edmund, shaking his head. "Everything just- happened so quickly." he remarked idly, almost to himself, placing a hand gently on Edmund's shoulder. Oreius' eyes narrowed, and he left the room silently. The healer placed his hand on Edmund's forehead, tutting in disappointment at the heat emanating from the young king.

"He's definitely feverish. Though, he may just have one of the sicknesses that go around during this time of year." He glanced at Peter, who had turned from his brother to stare at the healer incredulously. Surely he wasn't suggesting this was merely a common cold?

"Fever, coughing. He may just have the seasonal breathing sickness-" the healer was cut off by Edmund, who moaned loudly. Peter averted his gaze back to his brother, rewetting the cloth and mopping Edmund's brow tenderly.

But Edmund continued to moan, tossing and twisting, knocking the blankets covering him to the floor. Peter tried unsuccessfully to calm his brother, grabbing Edmund's hand tightly, his other hand tenderly caressing the dark locks. The tension in the room rose as Edmund began convulsing; Peter and Susan both sought to calm their brother now, fearing he would hurt himself even more. Oreius and the healer stood back, mirroring Lucy, who was watching horrified as Edmund writhed. Suddenly his entire body went taught, completely rigid, bow shaped lips opened in a silent gasp- and his eyes, closed in unconsciousness, suddenly opened wide. There was no recognition in the dark irises, only shock and pain. He arched his back, painfully high, and screamed. He screamed for what seemed like ages, eyes eventually shutting tightly, as he screamed from the very core of his being. Tears began leaking unbidden from the corners of his eyes, sliding down his face. Peter felt Edmund squeeze his hand tightly, his other fist clenching into the sheets of his bed, seeking some sort of relief from the unbearable pain.

Without warning, the cries cut off and Edmund began choking. Peter reacted first, and grabbed Edmund to him, sitting his little brother up and enclosing the small body securely within his arms. Edmund's body heaved, and Peter held him, stroking his back with gentle circles as he had done up on the balcony. When the young king finally passed out from lack of air, the room went silent once more. Peter gently lowered his unconscious brother back to the bed, never letting go of his hand, and turned to the healer, eyes alight with fear and fury. He wiped his free hand across his chest, holding it palm up to show the healer the blood Edmund had coughed up onto his shirt. Lucy gasped at the sight, running to Susan, who held her tightly.

"This is not just a breathing sickness," Peter growled, his voice low, "this is something much...more...serious."

* * *

Again I hope you liked it. I'm trying to put as much interaction between the siblings as I can. cough minus Ed of course. I don't have much to go by, so don't kill me if you think my characterization is a bit off. I'm sorry. But I do hope you liked this one! crosses her fingers 

Ok I'm going to pull a OhcEEcho. Review please, or I'll . . .I'll. . .well, I'll kill Ed! le gasp! Ok that was a bit harsh. I won't kill him. . .yet. But please review anyway :)


	3. Chapter 3

**Disclaimer**: Don't own 'em, just love 'em. 

**Author's Note**: More of the girl's in this one. Peter's changing guys, slowly, but he's changing. I hope you don't kill me for it. I was forced to post this chapter, but I'm warning you now that Chapter 4 isn't really written, so you won't be seeing another chapter from me for a long time. Blame the people I'm dedicating this to! First italicised section is a memory, other italics are Susan's thoughts (at the end).

**Dedication**: This one is going out to all those girlies out there who keep me going.

* * *

_He glanced at the clock again, wide awake and unable to fall asleep. _

_11:57._

_He stared hard at the clock, trying to make it move faster. Finally-_

_11:58._

_He humphed under his breath crossing his arms impatiently._

_11:59. _

_He grinned and glanced back up at the ceiling, hands drumming impatiently on his stomach. 12:00._

_He heard his door open with a soft click and quickly wiped the grin off his face, pretending to be asleep. Right on time. Quiet footsteps moved towards the bed, and he felt it dip slightly as a small body sat on the edge._

_"Peter?" a young Edmund asked, voice tiny. Peter pretended to be asleep, waiting for a sigh from Edmund. Sure enough it came._

_"Gotcha!" he whispered loudly, sitting up quickly and grabbing his brother to him. Edmund squealed softly, wriggling as Peter tickled him mercilessly._

_"Pe…Pet…Peter!" Edmund managed in between giggles. Peter laughed softly under his breath, watching his brother squirm. Edmund had always been extremely ticklish when it came to his sides. He suddenly stopped, leaning over his brother, smiling brightly._

_"You little midnight devil, back again are we?" he whispered. Edmund giggled, pushing at his brother's chest._

_"Peter I'm always here!" he responded. Peter chuckled, sitting back and pulling back the covers so Edmund could climb under. The younger boy eagerly jumped beneath them, going so far down that only his raven-dark hair showed over the top of the quilt. Peter grinned, tapping the hair with his fingers. He was answered by a muffled giggle from under the covers. Peter feigned surprise._

_"Oh my! The covers are giggling!" he exclaimed quietly. More giggles from the covers. "This shall have to be dealt with accordingly!" he continued, pretending to sound businesslike. He pressed his hand into the covers, just to the side of Edmund's left arm. Edmund giggled. "Hhhmm…" Peter moved his arm along Edmund's side, always coming within an inch of his brother. "…surely there has to be something underneath these covers…but I can't seem to find it!" He smiled at the laughter that accompanied his words. He shrugged, though he knew Edmund couldn't see it._

_"Well then, if there is nothing beneath these covers, I guess I can just go to sleep on them!" he whispered, face close to the hair peaking out. He made an effort of moving, placing himself on top of the covers, and resting his head where he knew his brother's stomach was. He smirked. "This pillow is too…flat," he whispered. "It needs some fluffing up I think." And Peter poked Edmund's stomach through the covers, hearing Edmund cry out in surprise, wriggling to get away from Peter's fingers. Peter pretended to be surprised._

_"Oh my! Now the covers are moving!" he gasped. He grasped them and pulled them down quickly, uncovering Edmund in one swift movement. "Aha! I knew it!" he cried, pointing at his brother. Edmund just giggled, and grabbed the covers, pulling them up to his chin. He huffed._

_"Go away you…you…mean brother! Can't you see that your little devil needs to sleep?" he grinned. Peter pretended to think about this, before lying down and holding his arm out._

_"Well then, if this little devil needs to sleep, than I must let him sleep," he answered. Edmund's face broke into another smile, and he quickly curled up against Peter, snuggling close as Peter wrapped an arm around him. It was silent for a few moments, and with Edmund there Peter knew he could finally fall asleep. Every night his brother came in and much to Peter's dismay, he realized he could no longer fall asleep until Edmund was there with him. Right before he drifted off, Edmund's sleepy voice cut the silence._

_"How come the ghosts don't come into YOUR room?"_

_Peter grinned, and pulled his brother closer, knowing that was answer enough._

_

* * *

_

Peter started slightly, a smile on his face as the memory ended and waited for his eyes to readjust to the dim light. As he came to his senses, he realized he was sitting in a chair in Edmund's room-next to Edmund's bed. They were in Narnia, not Finchley, and flashbacks of the past three days came rushing back to him. He immediately glanced over to the bed, eyes dimly recognizing the dark figure lying amongst a mess of quilts and sheets. Edmund was sleeping fitfully, tossing and turning, his face a mask of pain. Peter winced as his brother cried out, sobbing brokenly. The eldest immediately vacated his chair by the bed, hoping to soothe his brother before the sobbing developed into those terrifying coughs. And though Edmund usually had nightmares, for the first time Peter was not sure whether those nightmares had anything to do with his sobs.

"Shh. Its ok Eddie I'm here," he whispered softly, cupping the side of Edmund's face. He frowned at the heat that seared his skin. Edmund continued to whimper, face turning into Peter's hand. Peter smiled sadly at the motion, though it quickly faded as his brother's sobbing increased. Peter drew a trembling breath, his heart's flutters wishing nothing more than to entwine around his brother and wash away the pain. "No Eddie no, please- Please don't cry." He stroked his hand once more down his brother's cheek. The soft sounds of anguish gripped his heart, wrapping tightly around him. Edmund's sobbing was suddenly replaced by gasping as he began choking on his own breath- and Peter's fear became reality.

This reality was always worse than he could imagine.

Edmund's back arched as his body now desperately sought to draw air into his lungs. Peter drew in his own shaky breath, a very tiny sob escaping his mouth as he quickly moved onto the bed behind his dark-haired brother.

He immediately lifted Edmund into a sitting position, moving them until his brother's back came to rest securely against Peter's chest. Peter could feel his own heart racing, matching the speed of his brother's. His arm curved across Edmund's chest, gently but firmly holding him in place, resting his hand over Edmund's heart. Edmund's body trembled in Peter's arms and Peter could feel the erratic rhythm of his brother's lungs. Edmund's neck was arching against his shoulder, the dark hair brushing against Peter's in a twisted display of affection. Peter wrapped his other arm around Edmund's stomach, gently clasping his brother's hand in silent comfort. The eldest sibling closed his eyes, drawing his mind away from Edmund's heaving gasps and forced himself to calm down- taking strong, slow, steady breaths.

"Come on Eddie…breathe with me…I know you can do this…" he whispered, so softly, head leaning against Edmund's, mouth close to his ear.

Unconsciously, with the feel of his brother's deep breaths against his back, Edmund's agonized breathing slowly, very slowly, began to calm. The gasps receded to erratic breaths, and Peter felt the tension gradually leaving his body. Peter opened his eyes, glancing down at his brother. Removing his arm from Edmund's stomach, Peter brushed some stray dark locks away from his face.

"It's alright Ed. I know it hurts, but it will go away. Just breathe, that's it." Peter stroked his brother's hair until Edmund went completely limp in his arms, his head lolling to the side, coming to rest just below Peter's chin. The eldest shut his eyes tightly, fighting the burning sensation that was building behind them. He had to be strong, and he would remain strong, to help Edmund pull through. He smiled, a sad smile, resting his chin on his brother's head. With the memory still fresh in his mind, Peter realized with a start that though both of them had grown, Edmund still fit perfectly into his arms. He glanced down, eyes catching sight of Edmund's slender hands. He blinked and suddenly they were smaller, pudgier- the hands of his brother when he was 6. Peter blinked again and the vision faded. He gently clasped one of those hands, encompassing the thin, refined fingers within his own larger ones.

"My little midnight devil, when did you grow up on me?" he asked softly, breath stirring the dark hair below him. He continued, using the memories to keep himself from breaking down. "Do you remember those days? You were so little, and those ghosts were so scary." He smiled, reminiscing. "But don't…don't worry, I won't let these ghosts harm you." He gulped, his hand tightening around those slender fingers. "No, I will always be here to protect you from those ghosts, I promise." It was more a statement to himself than to the sleeping boy in his arms. Peter allowed himself to be comforted by these words. Older Peter suddenly collided with a younger Peter, dimly realizing that he could sleep now, since his little devil was there with him. It was a small comfort, but with it he fell into a restless sleep, his little brother lying lifelessly within his arms.

* * *

Susan placed an arm around Lucy's shoulders as the two sisters watched their brothers from the doorway. For the third night in a row, both were woken by Edmund crying out, and had arrived just as Peter, who was always awake, had moved to Edmund's side. Neither had had the heart to enter, both watching helplessly as Peter calmed their younger brother. The soft sounds of Peter's whispers reached their ears, but they were too soft to be heard coherently. Susan allowed herself to be soothed by the calming harmony of Peter's voice, feeling the tone wash over her in steady waves. When the words stopped, both girls knew that Peter had followed their brother into a fitful slumber. Now Lucy tugged at her sister's sleeve. Susan glanced away from their sleeping brothers, turning sad and questioning eyes on the youngest of the siblings. Lucy's eyes glistened, though she fought to keep the tears at bay. 

"Oh Lu…" Susan whispered softly, kneeling down to hug her sister. Lucy let her tears fall then, unnoticed by the two sleeping in the room before them. Susan sat all the way down, leaning her back against the doorpost, allowing Lucy to crawl into her lap. Susan soothed her sister as she cried, until all that remained were soft hiccups in place of the tears. Lucy looked up to her sister, her distress clearly showing upon her face.

"Why Su?" she whispered. "Why does it have to be Edmund?" Susan tucked a lock of hair behind her ear, her own face mirroring her sister's sorrow.

"I don't know Lu. I honestly don't know," she responded, head turning to glance into the room. Her mind recalled Peter's soft voice, resonating with a determined strength that was slowly beginning to crack, and she closed her eyes. _Oh Peter when will you learn! You can't always be strong- everyone has a weakness, even you._

"But why does it always have to be Edmund?" Lucy cut in, interrupting Susan's thoughts. "I know he went to the White Witch, but he didn't know what he was doing! He didn't know she was really evil! It wasn't his fault!"

"We were all hard on him Lu I know," Susan interjected. "And no one deserves this-any of this- especially our Edmund. He's been through so much, to have to suffer through even more- and oh the havoc it is wreaking on Peter-" She stopped, hands coming up to cover her face. Lucy gently moved her sister's hands, looking up at her from Susan's lap. Susan understood the silent plea from her sister, wishing her to continue. She sighed. "There are different ways to break a person Lu. Some people can be broken through physical torture, some through mental anguish. Even worse though, is to die without dying." Lucy's eyes widened. She looked into the room at her brothers, mouth opening in shock.

"Do you mean-" she cut off, unable to say the words. Susan looked down at her hands, wondering if she was making the right decision in saying this.

"Yes Lu. Some people can die without actually dying; everyone has that one weakness, even Peter." Susan looked back to her sister, eyes sadly sincere, and motioned towards the bed. "Peter's weakness is right there, in his arms." _You can't deny it Peter because I know; I may have been just as young, but I could see that love flickering in your eyes when Edmund was born. From the moment mum and dad brought Edmund home from the hospital- you've always had a special soft spot for him. From that first moment he was always yours-your brother. _She followed Lucy's actions and looked into the room. Her eyes swept the large bed, gazing at the two figures upon it. Despite the dimness, she could clearly see Edmund wrapped securely in Peter's protective embrace, both sleeping fitfully. They seemed so small and vulnerable. Susan wished there was something- anything- she could do; she wished she could just wrap them both up and make everything alright. To see that mischievous twinkle in Edmund's eye, or the bright smile that would light up Peter's face- she would give the world to see them again. She finished her thought, eyes never leaving those two small figures.

"No matter what may have happened in the past Lu- Edmund is, and always has been- Peter's weakness." It was then that she turned back to her sister, blue eyes filled with apprehension.

"And I'm scared Lu. I'm scared because I know that if we lose Edmund, we are going to lose Peter as well."

* * *

Ok so I guess its not much. But we'll see what happens. I do enjoy your reviews guys, some of you predict and come nowhere near, and others make random comments that are oddly true! So you never know what will happen! It takes me a long time to write, but reviews always help, so the more reviews I get, I bet it'll help me write faster ;). be prepared to expect the unexpected I'm sure. -crosses fingers- ok I'll stop rambling now! 


	4. Chapter 4

It's time to celebrate! Narnia has finally come out on DVD (in the US)! So I thought this would be a fitting time to finally finish and post this chapter. Actually it was totally random and completely by chance, but still.

**Disclaimer**: Don't own 'em, just love 'em.

**Author's Note**: Don't expect a miracle work of art for this chapter, its nothing to be amazed about. This was originally meant to be two chapters, but now its one, and its almost 6000 words long, the longest I've ever written. Italics are Lucy's dream. Note, half of the dream is an actual memory, the other half is a dream. I think you'll be able to figure out which piece is which. ;)

**Dedication**: Lesse, special to Capegio for betaing, CoveredinGlitter for constantly making sure I stayed on track and actually got it out, A Amelia Black for inadvertently giving me the spark I needed to finish this, OhcEEcho for pushing me as well, and all of my other readers who keep me going. I luffs you all more than you can imagine.

* * *

Peter was awoken later that night by Edmund, the younger boy moaning and shifting restlessly in his brother's arms. Peter held him a little bit closer, wrapping both arms around his waist, waiting for the painful spell to end. 

"Shhh…hey Ed it's alright, I've got you…" he whispered softly, eyes sad. He had a vague idea of what was coming and desperately hoped that he was wrong. But his prayers hadn't been answered for days now, and they weren't about to be answered this time either. He pressed Edmund more tightly to him as his brother's tremors became worse. He reached out, gently clasping each of Ed's hands, arms still wrapped around his stomach.

"I've got you…come on you little devil, fight this." And it did seem like Edmund was fighting, though Peter could tell that he was not winning. His moans escalated into cries, and finally into one long scream, his body going rigid in Peter's arms. Peter's eyes clenched shut in the same moment that his brother clenched his hands, slender fingers gripping Peter's till the knuckles were white.

Peter forced his tears back, staring blindly at the darkness beneath his lids. His brother was screaming, much as he had on that first night. He could hear that scream echoing back to him and it truly _was_ an echo; Edmund's scream, as he now lay in Peter's arms, was so weak, a shadow of Edmund's former voice. His eyes shot open when Edmund convulsed, choking on his breath and almost dislodging himself from Peter's arms. Peter leaned forward with him, pulling him back upright. Edmund's head turned into his chest, the violent coughs now taking over and shaking his body, more blood quickly coating Peter's shirt. Peter rubbed soothing circles on the back of Edmund's hand with his thumb, feeling just as helpless as he had that first night.

"Come on Eddie don't do this to me…you're scaring me…please…" He clenched his eyes shut once more, almost trying to will the very breath in his lungs over to his brother. Blue eyes snapped back open in shock as another sound mingled with the harsh grating sound of the coughs.

"…'ete'…'ou…git…'m…kay…'top…'orr…'y…'ing…" Edmund choked out, the words very broken, more like tiny syllables. Had Peter been sitting any further away, he was certain he would not have heard them. He twisted his head down to see his brother's face and was shocked to see not closed eyelids, but pained dark-brown eyes. They glinted in the moonlight, looking up a moment later and locking onto his own. Peter smiled down at him, a happiness flowing through him in that instant; a glimpse of those eyes temporarily pushing his worry aside. Edmund very weakly smiled back at him, lips barely curving, but curving nonetheless. "…'top…'orr…'y…'ing…'ete'…" he whispered again, voice weak. Peter stroked the hair back from Edmund's eyes gently as those eyelids fluttered.

"Ed I-" But those brown eyes vanished and Edmund went limp against him a moment later, dark head still turned sideways into Peter's chest. Peter's thumb continued to rub soothing circles on his hand and he rested his chin on that dark hair again. Edmund had spoken to him; he had seen those dark eyes he knew so well yet missed so much. He felt a strange sense of hope fill him, but it was quickly overpowered by pain: pain that reflected the pain he had seen in those brown depths; pain that was reflected and distorted in the blood on his shirt. He glanced up as Susan entered the room softly, eyes catching his.

"I heard his…cries…" she spoke quietly. She set down the bowl and water she had been holding on the bedside table. "This…this might help his breathing," she continued when Peter did not answer. She carefully poured the steaming water over the herbs at the bottom of the bowl and the room immediately filled with a warm soothing scent. Peter sat back against the headboard, situating Edmund more securely in his arms as Susan sat on the edge of the bed, bowl in her lap. They sat in silence for a few minutes, Susan sadly watching her younger brother, eyes taking in his fever-flushed face. Peter watched her, though he was not really paying attention, his thumb still rubbing over Edmund's hand. Perhaps it was Peter's imagination, but Edmund did seem to be breathing more easily. He finally glanced back over at Susan, the hand around Edmund's stomach moving up to gently touch his forehead, brushing the dark hair away from closed eyelids.

"He spoke," he whispered, so quietly it almost wasn't heard. Susan's head snapped up to look at him, studying his features in the dim moonlight.

"That's good…isn't it?" she asked almost warily. Peter seemed to hesitate for a moment then nodded, swallowing thickly. Susan took one hand from the bowl, placing it on her older brother's shoulder. "Peter…" Peter shook his head, cutting her off.

"I know Susan I know…" he looked back up at her, "but there was so much pain…I could see it Su…he tried to hide it but-… but oh Aslan it was there." Susan gently stroked his hair.

"Peter stop thinking about this. If…if that time comes…" she stopped, unable to finish, though it didn't matter since Peter had spoken up again.

"That's just it Su. The time _can't _come. It can't because I-" he looked down at Edmund, eyes shutting then as he squeezed his brother, "-because I can't let him go…" he whispered, voice even softer than before. Susan smiled sadly, trying to be strong. She could see Peter slowly breaking. The cracks were small, but they were there, and she didn't want to lose both of her brothers.

"Peter you…you just might have to let him go…but he will always be with you…" she trailed off, hating the unspoken meanings behind her words. Peter shook his head again, a small frustrated sigh escaping him.

"No Su, I can't…I can't…and he can't…" Susan looked down at her younger brother, her own voice even less than a whisper now as well.

"But he might…" Peter's head snapped up.

"He can't!" he cried out softly, wildly. Susan reached forward again but Peter shied away from her touch.

"Peter I'm sorry…but I can't lose both of my brothers…" There was a small silence between them, broken only by Edmund's erratic breaths. Finally Peter spoke, his voice almost not heard at all.

"What's 'midnight'?" he asked, voice cracking. Susan looked at him alarmed, wondering if her older brother had finally lost his sanity.

"Peter what are you-"

"I asked you a question Susan!" he interrupted, turning to face her, eyes bright with unshed tears. Susan gasped slightly at the anguish reflecting back through tears that still refused to fall, tears that still held hope. She quickly glanced out the window then back at Peter, sighing.

"Well Peter, 'midnight' is 12 AM. It's the time when-"

"No…" he whispered, again interrupting her. Susan looked at him incredulously, though he was staring blankly out the window.

"No?" she repeated. "Peter I don't understand what you are talking-"

"That the point Susan! You _don't_ understand! Midnight is the best part of every night; and midnight is when you know you can finally go to sleep; and midnight is your own special time, time that no one else can share with you…" He paused, glancing away from the window to his brother, eyes softening, "…and midnight has its own little devil," he whispered, stroking the dark hair back tenderly.

Susan was beyond confused. She had never seen Peter act this way before and it scared her. She glanced between her brothers in silence for a few moments before watching Peter closely. In the end she sighed, carefully setting the bowl on the bed stand. She leaned forward, placing a kiss on both her brothers' heads, letting a hand rest in their hair, one as light as the other was dark before quietly leaving the room.

Peter watched her leave, allowing himself to be slightly comforted by her gentle ministrations. He once more rested his chin on Edmund's hair, arms situating themselves firmly around him, eyes never leaving the door. Again the silence was broken only by Edmund's labored breathing, though eased somewhat by the soothing scent emanating from the bowl. Peter finally spoke, his soft voice seeming to echo through the room with his small confession.

"…I don't know what to do Ed…"

* * *

_Where were they! They were taking forever! Lucy bounced up and down anxiously next to Susan, hardly able to contain her impatience. She glanced at her sister and humphed. Susan seemed to be completely nonplussed by the fact that her brothers were late…again! _

"_Lu you want to calm down? They'll be here in a few moments," Susan said, pretending to be exasperated, though she couldn't hide the small smile adorning her face. Lucy looked up at her sister, both standing at the entrance to Cair Paravel._

_"Oh common' Su, how long does it take them! Surely they have to be almost do-" She turned quickly as something that sounded distinctly like bickering reached her ears. She shared a smile with Susan, who rolled her eyes._

_"They never do stop do they?"_

_Lucy chuckled, nudging her sister in the arm, grinning cheekily up at her._

_"You just now figured that out?" _

_Susan groaned at her sister's words._

_"I swear you are spending way too much time with Edmund, Lu." Lucy grinned up at her yet again, or perhaps that grin had never gone away._

_"You say that like it's a bad thing…" Susan threw up her hands in mock exasperation, but Lucy's attention was shifted as twin sets of hoof beats now reached her ears to accompany the voices. She quickly grabbed Susan's hand, pulling her towards the sound. A few moments later she stopped, listening to the bickering that emanated from the stables._

_"You're a bloody idiot…"_

_"How am I the idiot! And watch your language. You're the one who-"_

_"Because you are and I'll bloody well say whatev-...stop that! I'm FINE!"_

_"Stop being such a prat, let me see."_

_"I'm going to let you see the back of my hand in a few moments…"_

_Lucy turned to Susan and grinned, tugging her towards the doors again as her elder sister rolled her eyes. She stopped in the doorway, almost laughing at how absurd her brothers looked. Words were flying almost as fast as hands were tugging, Peter's hand locked around Edmund's wrist as Edmund tried to pull away._

_"Peter shove off I'm fine!"_

_"Then just let me look Ed, how hard could that be?"_

_"Well you're wrenching my arm hard enough, I'm not going to be fine in a few moments now get off me!"_

_"I'm not wrenching, that's all you! Ed please, I saw you-"_

_"Get down! I got DOWN! For the love of Aslan, next you're going to try and look at my ankle or something. Peter I'M FINE!"_

_Lucy chuckled at the look Peter gave Edmund, his eyes darting down to Edmund's ankle even as he kept up his death grip on Edmund's wrist. She moved further into the room before fists could begin to fly, letting her brother's notice her standing there. Edmund used the distraction to pull his arm free from Peter's grasp._

_"What happened?" Susan asked, stepping up next to Lucy. Both of her brothers immediately answered, Edmund a few seconds after Peter._

_"He fell off his horse."_

_"I got DOWN off Philip to get a closer look at something."_

_Peter turned to Edmund, giving him one of those looks._

_"Well pardon me for being a bit dense, but 'a closer look' doesn't usually involve lying on your side on the ground the last time I checked." Edmund snorted, his cheeks flushing a slight red despite his reaction._

_"I was checking your sleeping arrangements. Have to find a good spot for you to sleep when I throw you out of the castle for being a git."_

_"Oh I'm being a git now? At least I'M not too blockheaded to let someone make sure I'm alright." Edmund crossed his arms, cutting off any further words._

_"Yes you are, Peter." Lucy laughed again at that and Peter turned to glance at her. She shook her head at her oldest brother, trying to stifle her giggles._

_"He does have a point, you know…"_

_"Can't really refute the obvious," Susan chimed in from next to her._

_Peter stared open-mouthed between his smiling sisters and smirking brother. Lucy stepped forward before he could start up again, placing one hand on each of her brother's arms._

_"Enough you two, you're fighting like a married couple. Edmund, are you alright?"_

_"I'm fine!" he answered, glaring at Peter. Peter's arms crossed over his chest and he scowled._

_"Having to live with him is dreadful enough, I don't see how anyone could put up with him enough to marry him," he mumbled. _

_"At least I would be able to find someone, unlike you," Edmund retorted. Lucy rolled her eyes, shaking their arms as Susan stepped forward._

_"Alright alright, so you both wouldn't make good husbands, we understand. Peter, he's fine. Edmund, stop baiting Peter. You two are late. You should both know better than to keep Lucy waiting," she spoke sternly, leaving no room for arguments. Both boys looked down at Lucy then back up at each other before sheepishly making their way out. Lucy turned to Susan as soon as they were out of sight and huffed. "The only mate they'd be able to find is each other. I say, those two are both pieces of work!" Susan chuckled and wrapped an arm around her shoulders. She looked up at the door, shaking her head._

_"Peter he said he's fine! Stop bickering you two!" Susan called, as the sounds faintly drifted back to them. Lucy laughed again as Susan smiled at her and they followed the boys out of the stables. _

"_I agree, Lu, the only person who could ever put up with them is them. Won't it be the day when they finally figure that out."_

_She knew it was going to happen...it was inevitable…_

_"Lu where exactly are we going?" Peter asked, ducking beneath another low hanging branch. Lucy turned to him and grinned, walking beneath another branch with no problem._

_"You'll see Peter! I think you'll like it, just trust me." Peter looked around, ducking beneath the branch Lu had easily walked under. Lucy hurried forward a little bit faster. She wanted to show it to them so bad! Why were they taking so long! Why couldn't they speed it up? She was about to say just that when an 'oomph' sounded behind her, followed by laughter. Lucy turned, finding Peter on the ground staring up, winded with Edmund laughing in front of him and quickly deduced what had happened. Next to her, Susan rolled her eyes and moved forward, reaching out a hand to help Peter up._

_"Edmund, must you?" Edmund continued to laugh._

_"Sorry Su I can't help it. He **falls** for it every time!" Peter glared at him, reaching forward to cuff him on the head. Edmund ducked the hand, the action making him laugh even harder. Susan turned to Peter, flashing him a warning._

_"Peter don't…" But Peter wasn't about to listen. He flew forward quickly, chasing the younger boy. Edmund easily evaded, smirking at Peter as he came up to walk next to Lucy…well…more like shield himself with Lucy. Susan rolled her eyes and put her hand on her forehead, leaning into it in exasperation. _

"_H-hey!" Lucy cried out as Edmund's hands latched onto her shoulders, moving her this way and that in front of Peter. Peter glared at his brother, but from her position Lucy could see the small smile twitching at the corners of Peter's mouth. _

"_Ed, hiding behind Lucy isn't going to save you."_

_Edmund looked from his brother to Lucy a few times before he smirked, sticking out his tongue, baiting Peter as always._

"_Well with your skills, I could hide behind a pinecone and still be fine." Lucy shook her head then and she couldn't help but smile as well. They really were a right piece of work! And Susan wasn't fooling her at all. Susan could pretend to be exasperated as much as she wished, but Lucy knew she loved watching their antics just as much as she did. If there was one person that could always rub Peter in the wrong way, it was Edmund. Lucy shook her head again and looked forward, giving up on getting free and her eyes lit up._

_"Oh! Come on!" she rushed forward, breaking from Edmund's grasp and breaking through the fringe of the trees a moment later. Her sudden movement must have caught Edmund off guard, because she heard a yelp of surprise behind her a moment later and she figured Peter must have caught him while he wasn't paying attention. But it was short lived as she quickly ran ahead of them, and their games were forgotten when Peter called to her._

_"Lucy!" The other three sped up to catch up with her. They all stopped at the edge, glancing out before them. Peter's brow furrowed in confusion._

_"Lu it's just the waterfall. We've been here already." Lucy turned, grinning up at him from where he was standing next to Edmund._

_"Not where I'm taking you, you haven't." Lucy grinned and quickly move forward, leading her siblings parallel to the river, until she hit an opening in a small hill. She turned and smiled at them, cutting off her eldest brother as he tried to speak up. "Just trust me Peter." Peter turned and looked out at the surrounding area and Lucy rolled her eyes. The entrance was actually rather hidden, so he had no need to worry. He must have figured it out for himself, because he was following them in a split second later._

_"Peter don't shut it or we won't be able to-" Peter let the foliage slide back over the entrance, "-see." Edmund finished his sentence and Lucy had to bite back a giggle as her siblings looked around, wondering why it hadn't receded to pitch black._

_"Come on!" she said, grabbing Susan's hand and pulling her forward. Her brothers followed silently, looking around. They traveled for only a few more moments, the sound of the waterfall becoming louder and louder as the tunnel became lighter._

_"Lucy what…" Lucy turned and grinned, cutting her sister off and tugging her forward again. They broke through the tunnel into a comfortably sized cave. Lucy let go of her sister's hand in that moment and turned, watching their faces go from confused to awed at the same time. The cave was quite cozy, with small patches of plush green moss that contrasted the blue light of the waterfall. The waterfall seemed even more beautiful from behind, and somehow the cave felt that much more protected, hidden beneath the flowing water. Lucy smiled widely._

_"Mr. Tumnus and I found it a few days ago. He said that no one knows about it. Isn't it wonderful!" she asked, almost bursting with pride and excitement. Edmund finally turned to Lucy, the flashes of blue light bouncing off his brown eyes and making them twinkle even more._

_"This is it?" was all he asked. Lucy let her smile fall, and both Peter and Susan turned sharply to Edmund. Edmund chuckled, throwing his arms up. "Hey hey! I was just joking…" Lucy smiled again and ran to him, hugging him tightly. Her brother was a bit surprised and he looked down at her for a moment before smiling and hugging her back. He leaned down slightly and whispered, "Its wonderful Lu." Lucy smiled even more widely, nestling herself contently in his arms, her cheek resting against his breastbone as she looked to the side, watching the waterfall happily. She could feel Edmund's arms around her and he made no move to let go, watching just as silently. Lucy could feel his even breathing beneath her ear, her head moving up and down softly with each breath. Lucy's brow furrowed and she shifted slightly in his embrace to look up at him. When did he get so tall? The last time he had actually allowed her to hug him she was sure she could rest her head on his shoulder. Now his shoulder was far above her head. Edmund seemed to sense her thoughts and chuckled slightly, though Lucy could feel it much more easily than she could hear it. Someone came up next to them before her brother could say anything. Out of the corner of her eye Lucy could see that it was Susan. Another sound let her know that Peter had come up on Edmund's other side, but her view was blocked by Edmund's body._

_"How did you and Tumnus find this place Lu?" Susan asked gently, still in awe of the cave. Lucy twisted in Edmund's arms and smiled brightly up at her._

_"I guess hide and seek is the game to play when you want to discover new places." Peter laughed on Edmund's other side and Lucy looked around her brother to see him before nestling back into Edmund, quite content. Lucy's eyes shut as the sounds of the water, coupled with the feel of Edmund's steady breaths lulled her into a semi-doze, but she was quickly jerked out of it when Edmund tensed beneath her. She looked up at him, but his eyes were locked on the waterfall._

_"Ed?..." she asked, eyes questioning, the small sound alerting Peter and Susan. Edmund continued to stare at the waterfall, his eyes wide. Lucy went to shake him but stopped quickly._

_"…Dad?..." Edmund whispered softly, staring at the waterfall. His hands dropped from her shoulders and he turned, slowly walking forwards. Lucy looked around, trying to see what Edmund saw, wondering why her father would be in Narnia._

_"Ed what are you-…" Peter began, but Edmund wasn't listening. He continued walking closer and closer towards the waterfall, almost in a trance. Lucy felt a cold wave of fear wash over her. Something wasn't right. What was going on? Something wasn't right at all. This hadn't happened. This wasn't part of the memory. This wasn't real…or was it? Lucy gasped, staggering backwards as the waterfall went from a beautiful blue to a bright vivid red, staining the walls the colour of blood._

_And still Edmund walked forward. Lucy tried to look at Peter and Susan, but she couldn't move; she couldn't turn her head away from Edmund._

_"Ed!" Peter cried from her left, trying to snap him out of it._

_"Edmund please!" Susan called, mere moments after Peter. Edmund stopped a footstep away from the ledge and the waterfall, eyes staring blankly forward. Lucy tried to move, tried to take a step towards her brother, feeling so helpless and useless. Edmund suddenly seemed to snap out of whatever trance he had been in, his eyes widening. Lucy heard Peter cry out again as Edmund convulsed once. What was going on? Why was Edmund doing this? This didn't happen! This DIDN'T HAPPEN! She struggled once more but she couldn't move, she couldn't do anything. Time seemed to slow down, the waterfall almost defying gravity as it cascaded lazily behind Edmund, casting his figure into a pale but harsh red light. Edmund convulsed again, his eyes going wide, the horror on his face mirroring the horror Lucy felt. He stared forward, his breathing quickening drastically, he stumbled, his foot flying out, only to meet the water of the waterfall._

_Lucy screamed._

_Susan screamed._

_And Peter screamed. Time started again that instant, and before Lucy knew it Peter was flying forward. Her oldest brother caught Edmund around the waist, using his momentum to throw him backwards away from the ledge. Peter's eyes went wide as he in turn stumbled over the ledge, losing his footing, the pressure of the waterfall immediately driving him downwards. Susan screamed for him as he fell, his hands grabbing the ledge in a white-knuckled grip. Edmund fell to the floor, gasping and choking, bright red droplets of blood appearing on his lips with small flecks staining the ground beneath him as he coughed it up._

_Lucy watched the scene as if it were playing before her eyes. She felt strangely detached from it. Susan ran past her, reaching out for Peter. Edmund cried out behind her, trying to crawl forward as his body convulsed; Susan turned to him in shock and quickly grabbed him around the waist, pulling him against her body as he came dangerously close to the ledge. Holding Edmund with one arm she once again reached out for Peter, whose hold on the rocks was slowly slipping. She turned to Lucy and screamed something to her, but no sound escaped. Lucy saw her lips moving, but the entire world had gone silent in that moment. Lucy couldn't move; she was frozen in place, forced to watched everything, and yet unable to help. She cried out, tears of frustration escaping from her eyes and she struggled desperately to run forward. There was a cracking sound and suddenly she was running. The silence was gone, replaced by an uproar of noise from the waterfall. She reached her sister's side just as Peter shook his head sadly._

_"Peter please! Take my hand!" Susan cried, reaching as far as she could. Edmund bent forward even more, his face pressed close to the cave floor as his body convulsed. Lucy dropped down next to him, rubbing his back, not sure what to do. Peter shook his head again, looking sadly up at Susan._

_"I'm so sorry…I couldn't…I couldn't save him Su…I'm so sorry…" Susan stared wide-eyed down at Peter, desperation written clearly on her gentle features._

_"Peter please! Edmund is right here! You did save him!" She turned and grabbed Edmund as he once more reached out to Peter. Peter locked eyes with Edmund, something swirling deep inside those blue eyes._

_"I'm so sorry…" he mouthed, staring at his brother. Edmund let out a choked cry, reaching forward once more as Peter's hands slipped…_

_Her vision swirled, the scene distorting and fading, Susan and Edmund blurring before her. She reached out a hand to them but she was unable to stop herself from being pulled away. Her vision went black and there was a thump as she felt herself hit something soft._

_

* * *

_

Lucy jerked awake, the cry of fear quickly dying on her lips as she looked frantically around the room. Peter, Edmund, no, it…it couldn't be true…it just couldn't! She immediately threw the covers off, getting up and racing out of the room, her heart pounding as she ran towards Edmund's chambers. She stopped for a second to catch her breath, trying to force the tears of fright away. She blinked rapidly, hearing voices coming from just around the corner. She poked her head around, keeping herself as far back as possible.

"He hasn't been able to sleep properly for days," Oreius whispered.

"Are you sure?" the healer queried, looking up from his papers. The General nodded.

"Whatever is causing this ailment must be keeping him from getting enough rest." Dorjan responded quietly. Tumnus looked up, staring at the healer.

"Have you informed King Peter…Queen Susan…Queen Lucy?" he asked quietly. Dorjan shook his head, turning to Oreius as the centaur spoke up.

"King Peter has been with him since this sickness began. Surely he knows how much sleep King Edmund is getting."

"And it is just about the same amount King Peter is getting as well." Tumnus cut in quietly. The healer glanced at the faun and then the centaur, face grave.

"With all due respect Sirs, without the proper amount of rest...King Edmund is not going to make it, whether I can discover the cure or not." The healer turned back to Tumnus before the faun could open his mouth. "And no, our Majesties do not know of this either." Oreius glanced silently down the hallway and Lucy quickly pulled back, pressing her head against the wall, as the centaur's words drifted to her.

"The youngest Son of Adam is dying."

Lucy clapped a hand to her mouth, eyes widening in shock before squeezing shut. She pressed herself completely to the wall, listening for the sounds of hoof beats and feet to fade away. She looked around the corner and then sprinted the final bit, stopping short at Edmund's door and pushing in as silently yet as quickly as she could. Her eyes adjusted to the dim light and she breathed a sigh of relief as her brothers materialized in the darkness. She slowly walked over to the bed, sitting carefully on the edge before them, the weight in her chest loosening as she softly sighed in relief. Peter was there, he was alive; his head was resting against the headboard, arms still holding Edmund securely to his chest even as they both slept. Edmund's head was turned inwards, his cheek pressed to Peter's heart, rising and falling with Peter's steady breaths. She smiled sadly, letting one hand come up, her knuckles brushing across Edmund's other cheek gently. The feel of his soft skin, albeit flushed with heat beneath her fingers, comforted her and confirmed that her brothers were both real, real and alive. Edmund shifted and moaned and she pulled back, surprised. His eyes blearily opened halfway, weary browns finding bright blue-greens.

"Lu…cy…" he whispered after a few moments. Lucy let out a tiny, choked laugh and smiled at him, rubbing her hand through his hair once. Never would she have thought that hearing her name from Edmund's lips could mean so much to her.

"Yes, it's me, Edmund..." she whispered back. Edmund blinked slowly, trying to move. Lucy quickly placed a hand on his cheek. "Shh…it's alright…you don't want to wake Peter…" His looked over, realizing that his head was resting against Peter's chest and stilled once more. Lucy stroked his cheek once more before dropping her hand. "Sleep, Edmund…get better for us okay?" She smiled reassuringly, letting her hand find his in the dark and gently covering it. Edmund gave her the smallest of smiles and nodded, blinking tiredly again.

"'m fine Lu…no need to worry…'bout…me…" Lucy smiled tenderly down at him, letting her hand rest over his until his eyelids fluttered before sliding shut. She let the smile drop from her face as she fought to remain composed. She slowly stood up, turning her attention to Peter, who had not woken. She let a hand rest in his hair, placing a quick kiss to his temple before she turned and headed quietly for the door. She stopped halfway there, hearing a soft voice call her name. She turned to find Peter blinking blearily at her.

"Oh Peter…" she whispered to herself, walking back over. He watched her come forward.

"Lu…do you think…" he looked down at Edmund, still resting semi-peacefully, "…do you think you could watch him for me?" he whispered. Lucy nodded, not quite sure why he wished to leave Edmund now. Peter sensed her unspoken question and smiled, not knowing that Edmund had been awake only moments before.

"I'll be right back I promise…I just need…" he let one hand unwrap from around his brother's stomach, motioning towards the door. "I'll be right back I promise…" he looked down at Edmund. "I just don't want to leave him alone…"

"Its alright Peter, I'll stay with him until you return," she responded, letting a hand rest on his shoulder briefly as she once more sat on the edge of the bed. Peter sighed and nodded, slowly easing himself out from beneath Edmund and laying him fully down.

"I'll be right back Ed I promise," he whispered, leaning close to his brother's ear. Edmund stirred slightly, eyelids fluttering, but he did not wake. Peter stood up, bending over and kissing Lucy's temple quickly. "Thanks Lu," he whispered, breath brushing against her hair before he made his way to the door. Lucy watched him leave the room silently before turning back to Edmund. She moved forward, letting herself rest against the headboard near Edmund's head. She glanced uncertainly down at him before placing a hand in his hair, stroking softly.

"Come on Edmund...just get better…I miss you…" she whispered. She paused for a moment, thoughts going back to the conversation she had heard in the hallway, before her soft voice threaded once more through the still room. "Prove them wrong Edmund…prove them wrong."

Peter sighed, still completely exhausted. Edmund had finally calmed down and succumbed to some much needed sleep, though how long he would remain calm Peter could only wonder. The blonde king made his way towards the kitchens to get a drink before he returned. He hated leaving Edmund, but Lucy was there with him and Peter had promised his little brother that he would not be gone long.

He yawned, his stockinged feet padding silently into the kitchens, before recoiling in surprise. He had not expected anyone else to be up at this hour. Peter was about to alert the other to his presence when his eyes narrowed, vaguely recognizing the person in front of him. Hidden behind the doorframe, Peter watched the man go about his tasks. Occasionally the man would glance warily at the door, forcing Peter to hide from view. The man looked about the kitchens, searching for something. Peter's suspicions rose even more when the man reached for Peter's dining glass. Peter squinted, trying to distinguish the face. The man pulled down the glass, glancing at the door once more. Peter watched the man uncork a small vial, dripping some of the red liquid it held into Peter's glass, before smearing some around the rim. The red liquid stood out starkly against the silver cup for a moment before fading, as though nothing were there.

_"You sure you don't mind me drinking this?" Edmund asked, glancing at his brother. Peter nodded._

_"It's not as though I were about to drink it, so you might as well," he responded._

_The dark-haired youth grinned cheekily, taking another sip from his cup._

It was then that the man glanced towards the door once more, his face catching in a shaft of moonlight. Peter gasped quietly, mouth opening in shock as everything became clear to him in one astonishing moment. His shock was quickly replaced by a low burning anger that coiled and wrapped around his insides, growing with each second until Peter growled, now staring in anger at the blue tinged face before him. He lunged angrily into the room, knocking over the table full of dishes as he ran forwards. In that instant his vision narrowed, and he did not care about anything but that man, eyesight tinged red at the corners, a cold fury bubbling through him as he ran towards the one who had poisoned his little brother.

* * *

For all you people who didn't understand, the two things Edmund said to Peter were "Peter you git, I'm okay, stop worrying." and "You worry too much Peter." Reviews are absolute love. I feel horrible about taking so long with this chapter, but things weren't working properly. I finally settled on the way it is, which isn't the best, but its passable. So please, if you love me and want to make me feel better about making you guys wait so long, do review. :) you know I review whenever possible. -cough- ok so I'm not sure why that would matter. Review or I'll take another month with chapter 5! -le gasp!- 

ok I'll stop talking now.


	5. Chapter 5

**Title**: Wide Eyes Terrified

**Author**: Shauna/KJ

**Disclaimer**: Don't own 'em, just love 'em.

**Rating**: Putting this one up at R for themes and events.

**Author's Note**: Things are really starting to heat up here. Not the best chapter ever, but its something I guess. I had a moment with it, and was about ready to throw the entire fic out. So if you would like to thank anyone for me showing you this monstrosity, you should thank Cus, Red, and Capegio, because they are the ones who helped me through my weird stage. Shoutouts to them! -luffs muchly-  
Oh! And I would especially like to thank Capegio for helping me out with some particularly tough spots! I luff you hunna!

Also: THIS IS NOT SLASH! I will repeat this as often as necessary, but it is not slash, and it will never become slash! No matter what might seem a bit sketchy (as apparently a couple things in the last chapter made it seem slashy, but I promise you, it is NOT slash!)

**Dedication**: I think this chapter shall be dedicating to teh one and only CoveredInGlitter, because its her birthday! Happy Birthday darling! I hope this was a nice surprise for you :)

* * *

"_Come on Lu…" Edmund laughed, skipping just out of reach, disappearing behind a tree. She looked around frantically._

"_Edmund where are you?" Her brother laughed, she could hear it, it echoed around her, through her, far away yet so close._

"_Come on Lu, aren't you going to catch me?" She looked around before running blindly forward, trying to see her brother amongst the trees. More laughter._

"_Edmund where ar-" Edmund seemed to materialize in front of her, brown eyes twinkling. He held up her knife, the one given to her by Father Christmas._

"_Look what I have Lu…don't you want it back?" He smirked. She lunged forward but he vanished again, slipping right through her fingers, her hands grasping air as more laughter echoed around her._

"_Come on Lu…come and get it…" Again she looked around frantically, trying to pinpoint the echo._

"_Edmund stop this!" she yelled, turning in frustrated circles, running forwards. The laughter continued around her. All around her the trees seemed to sway with the stillness of the breeze, sway with the echoing peals of laughter._

"_Hurry Lu…hurry…" her brother's laughing voice mocked her. She spun around, barely catching the streak of black as it disappeared behind another tree. She ran forward._

"_Where are you Lu…" She turned to the left, another streak of black. She ran towards it._

"_Come on Lu…this way…" Her head snapped to the left: another flash of black clothing._

"_Edmund stop this!" she screamed once more, head whipping around frantically. "How am I supposed to find you if you keep disappearing?"_

"_But you already know where I am…" …smooth…enticing…_

"_Edmund please! Where are you!"_

"_Don't think Lu…don't think…" …silky…alluring…A flash of twinkling brown eyes, a glimpse of pale freckled skin behind a tree… She ran forward then stopped and turned quickly, rushing backwards. Lucy shoved her hands before her and they suddenly contacted with something warm and soft. Edmund smiled down at her, placing the dagger back in her hands._

"_You can win Lu…" he smiled. She took her dagger back, belting it to her waist._

"_Edmund I don't understand…" Edmund shook his head, smiling down at her._

"_You can win Lu…" His voice sounded more distant. She looked up at him, alarmed._

"_Edmund!" She reached forward, her fingers only connecting with the air as Edmund stepped back, still smiling down at her._

"_Now you can protect me Lu…"…Voice even softer, even more distant. She stepped forward again. Edmund flickered before her, body solid then translucent._

…_solid…translucent…solid…translucent…_

…_tiny fingers reaching…grabbing…clutching…_

"_Edmund please!"_

…_brown eyes shutting…body fading…pale lips still smiling…_

"_Edmund how can I protect you if you leave me!"_

…_reaching, grasping, missing…wide eyes staring around desperately in the empty woods…_

"_Don't think Lu…Don't think…"_

A loud crash echoed through the castle and Lucy jerked awake for the second time that night. Disoriented, she grabbed the nightstand as she pushed herself up, her fingers unknowingly closing over her small dagger as she rushed from the room, racing towards the sound.

* * *

Peter lunged forward, catching the healer by the throat. Every nerve in his body was tingling, singeing him with its icy chill. He wanted nothing more than to mar, maim, no _mutilate_ this man. It was like a black spot, a glacial hand, burrowing deep down into every orifice of his being. 

"Give me one good reason why I shouldn't kill you right now." he growled, menacingly. Dorjan smirked, watching as first Oreius and Tumnus, then Susan, then Lucy, and finally a few of the nearest guards entered the room, hearing the commotion. He glanced at each one of them in turn, smirk never disappearing, before turning back to Peter.

"If you kill me," he began, eyes level, "then the boy dies."

This prompted a harsh snarl from the blonde king, enraged by any references to Edmund. He brought his face close to Dorjan's.

"And just why should I believe you?" he ground out, shaking him ferally for emphasis. The former healer merely shrugged.

"Because you have no other choice."

Peter stared at him, unsure of what to do. He was usually the calm one, he usually kept himself under control, but the situations never had anything to do with his brother. Behind him Susan stepped forward, anger flashing through her eyes.

"You savage creature, how dare you! You have no right!" Peter whipped his head around to look at her, still holding Dorjan against the wall. The man sneered, turning his attention to Susan, completely unperturbed by his predicament.

"In my household, a woman doesn't speak unless she is spoken to wench." Lucy's eyes narrowed, her own anger springing forth, but Peter growled, shoving him back into the wall before she could say anything.

"That is _not_ how you address a Lady you son of a bitch," he hissed. Lucy gasped behind them but it was covered as the man laughed, though the sound was devoid of all mirth. Peter shoved him roughly against the wall again, his hand still clenched in the man's collar. The healer's eyes alighted on Peter, no warmth reflecting in them.

"Honestly Your _Highness_, you really should put your women in their place." Peter's eyes narrowed and he shoved him again.

"Their place is far above yours. Now tell me what you did to my brother or I shall not be held responsible for my actions." The man shrugged as best he could against the wall.

"Why should it matter _your majesty_-" he mocked, "you cannot save him anyway." A flicker of fear passed through Peter's eyes, but it was gone a moment later. He stared at Dorjan, mind trying to work quickly. The man leered, "What's the matter, upset that your brother is as good as dead?" Oreius stepped forward quickly before Peter could respond, placing a hand on his shoulder, understanding Peter's predicament.

"Let him go Your Majesty, we shall deal with him." Oreius spoke softly, firmly. But Peter knew he did not want to let go. His eyes narrowed. He wanted to cause this man, this _criminal_, as much pain as he possibly could. Dimly he wondered if this was how the Queen had felt, taking out all her icy anger on Aslan's army during the battle. Yet unlike that time, this was one man, and Peter was not one to hold personal grudges. But ever since Edmund's life had been threatened, this had become personal. Edmund was his family; this was just about as personal to Peter as anything could be. Peter was not about to let this go lightly. But what if the man did know how to save his brother? It made sense; the assassin is also the savior.

This time Oreius' grip on his shoulder was a bit firmer.

"Your Majesty, let him go, we can handle this." And suddenly Peter was a flurry of movement. He slammed the man forcefully into the wall, removing Oreius' hand from his shoulder in the process. There was ferocity in his eyes that the others had never seen before. Those eyes held a passion, passion and fury mixed with a haze of other emotions, and he was slowly spinning out of control. He tried to calm his breathing, not sure what decision he wished to make. He just wanted to kill this man, and handing him over to Oreius was the last thing on his mind. Finally he threw Dorjan to the floor, standing over him with his full fury unleashed. The others weren't sure whether to stop Peter or stand back for their own safety. Peter stared at the man before him, eyes alight.

"He will not die," the blonde king hissed vehemently. He turned to the others. "He will not die!" he repeated, with more force. There was a shocked silence, filled only with the harsh breathing of Peter's rage. Susan grabbed Lucy to her, hugging her tightly as they both stared at Peter in horror. Their brother's entire body was trembling, his hands clenched at his sides. The echoes of his harsh breathing filled the room.

"P-Peter?" Lucy finally asked, voice tiny. Peter's head slowly turned to her and she gasped as those blue eyes locked on her. Only they weren't blue anymore; they were a deep stormy grey, and Lucy could see the myriad of emotions flitting through them. Moments later they were gone, Peter had turned back to the man before them. With some satisfaction Lucy watched the tiniest flicker of fear pass through the man's eyes as he stared back at Peter.

Peter was beyond all rational thought. His heart was racing wildly in his chest, threatening to pound right out of his ribcage. But he didn't care. He didn't care about anything, and he didn't see anything besides the man before him. He was beyond all rational thought, slowly falling into an insipid black oblivion the likes of which he had never been entrenched within before; its deafening isolation blocking out anything and everything. Peter was slowly falling, falling into his own twisted dreams of destruction and pain, and there was only one thing strong enough to pull him back out…

A broken scream tore through the air, echoing through the castle and bouncing across the walls in the kitchen. Peter's head snapped in the direction of his room just as the scream cut off. No words were spoken, the man completely forgotten as Peter dashed from the room, racing back to the source of the scream - his brother - his other half: Edmund.

* * *

Alright so tell me truthfully everyone, how many of you were expecting it to be the healer? ;) Peter almost totally lost it there. Pretty scary huh? Hopefully the other chapters will be a bit easier in coming out, but you know me, I always put my foot in my mouth, so I shall make no promises. Hope you reviewers don't hate me after this one! Chapter 6 is going to be pretty. . .big. I'm warning you now.  



	6. Chapter 6

**Title**: Wide Eyes Terrified

**Author**: Shauna/KJ

**Disclaimer**: Don't own 'em, just love 'em.

**Rating**: Putting this one up at R for themes and events.

**Author's Note**: Nothing is what it seems. Keep that in mind. This chapter is ridiculously short, but it needed to be done. Adding anything else to this would have detracted from the arc of this chapter. Also, two weeks from today I will be out of school. As such, I _may_ be going on hiatus for those two weeks, because of exams, and moving out of the dorm and all. But you never know. So bear with me!

**Dedication**: This chapter is going out to SubOrbital, because she deserves a dedication for once. So here's to you dahling, especially because you are just about ready to kill me for having to wait in posting this. So here's to you. Everyone else, go read her fics. Now.

* * *

Peter burst into the room breathlessly, wasting no time in getting to Edmund's side. His little brother was struggling to regain his breath, body jerking and twisting as he fought the pain that had once more invaded his system. Peter tried to calm Edmund, holding him close, creating a rock for the dark-haired teen to cling to. Edmund dimly recognized the blurred figure of his brother before him.

"P'ter..." he pleaded, voice a tiny mewl. "P'ter please..."

But the eldest sibling did not know what to do. He grasped Edmund to him, burying a hand in Edmund's unruly raven-dark hair, _his_ brother's unruly raven-dark hair. Steadfastly he held Edmund to him- held him through the wracking coughs and the shudders and the pain.

"Shhh..." Peter whispered, gently rocking his brother. His own voice cracked slightly even with that small sound. Edmund was actually pleading with him. Edmund never pleaded with him, Edmund never admitted to pain. Peter bit his lip, a habit he had unconsciously picked up from Edmund, unable to even fathom just how much pain his brother was in. He felt Edmund clutch his shirt tightly, slim fingers digging into the fabric. They spasmed with each wracking cough that shook his frail body and Peter felt his heart sink even more.

Their sisters and Tumnus watched helplessly from the doorway. Lucy clasped Susan's hand tightly, feeling the much needed support her sister unconsciously offered. Peter did not even notice his sisters at the door, so intent was he on his world, his brother. Peter closed his eyes tightly, fighting back the tears that threatened to break through his tough exterior. He had to be strong for Edmund, had to help his baby brother pull through. Baby? Edmund wasn't a baby anymore. _But he would always be Peter's baby brother…_ He could feel the warm wetness penetrating his shirt from Edmund's coughs. Peter bit his lip again as he held Edmund even tighter, forcing himself not to look down at the blood gradually coating his shirt. Slow tears began leaking from Edmund's fever-bright eyes, streaking across a face filled with agony.

And suddenly there was silence. Edmund stared forward- wide eyed- terrified. His body continued quaking and heaving, but there was no longer any sound. Fever burned brightly on his face, sweat-soaked locks matted to his forehead. Susan and Lucy watched in horror as their brother trembled, now struggling just to breathe. In only a matter of seconds the heaving stopped and Edmund went completely rigid, face pointed upwards, bow-shaped lips open in a silent scream to the heavens.

"Ed?" Peter called, hoping for a sign, a response, anything. The room was completely silent, all eyes transfixed on their youngest king. And Edmund continued to gasp for air that didn't come, mouth open, body rigid, eyes wide, completely terrified. And then his hand, still entwined with Peter's, squeezed tightly, before his eyes rolled back, and he collapsed to his bed.

Peter watched almost in slow motion as Edmund fell limply away from him. There was such finality in such a graceful fall, and it scared him beyond anything else.

"Ed!" he screamed once more into the completely still room. But Edmund did not respond, and he would not respond, because he could not respond; and suddenly Peter could do nothing but stare.

Susan and Lucy had slowly moved closer to their brothers, eyes never leaving Edmund; their brother was bathed in a pool of moonlight shafting in from the window. He seemed so young, too young, to suffer all this torment and agony. Fever lit his face, and the sweat glistened on his body- mingling with the moonlight- creating almost an ethereal glow about him. To his family, Edmund was too still, unnervingly still. Lucy's eyes were immediately drawn to his hands, slender fingers lying limply against the sheets. She blinked, expecting them to begin fiddling with the sheets, folding small triangles into the fabric with two fingers: fold, then crease, then rub- the pad of his thumb along the point- before releasing it, only to start the whole process again in a different spot. She blinked again, her eyes traveling from his fingers back to his face, not understanding why his freckles stood out so starkly on his pale cheeks. She did not understand how his breathing had suddenly become so unlabored that she couldn't even hear it. Lucy didn't like seeing him so still. He had always been so vibrant, so full of life, and now he was too still. Unlike her two oldest siblings, Edmund had never been able to quell his emotions. He was the closest to her age, the one who seemed to understand her the most. Yet, as much as he was like her, Edmund's emotions came in fiery outbursts of passion. He never had a problem voicing his opinions – never had a problem with being the voice against their quietude, the passion to their calm, or live a life that still managed to burn so hotly, despite all that he had been through. Lucy knew that they thought she had this job, but Lucy knew, oh how Lucy knew, that Edmund was their…_her_… constant reminder that there was still something to live for. And now, that light, that reminder that burned ever so brightly, seemed so…cold?

Tumnus quietly interrupted the stillness of the room, walking over to Edmund's side. Gently, so gently, he brushed some stray raven-colored locks from Edmund's face, before placing a hand over the young king's heart. A small sigh escaped him, and he inclined his head. Lucy looked up at him confused

Peter watched the faun, his own eyes just as wide and confused. The haze of despair that permeated the room was palpable: so thick, it was overwhelming. And in that moment, where Edmund had fallen, and the girls had moved slightly forward, and in that moment where Tumnus' face fell in solemn sympathy and devastation, Peter understood. The eldest looked back down to his brother, his Edmund.

"No..." he whispered quietly. "NO!" he cried out, tears making their way down his face. Tumnus gently tried to pry him away from Edmund's body, but Peter would have none of it. "NO!" he howled, a keening wail that echoed throughout the chamber. He brought Edmund's hand, still entwined with his own, to rest against his forehead; and Peter, who had always tried to remain so calm, bent forward over the still body of his brother- and cried.

* * *

Well, there you have it. its not much, but its something. -shrug- hope you guys erm. . .enjoyed it? Ok well, don't flame me please. This chapter needed to be done. To everyone who has beared with 


	7. Chapter 7

**Title**: Wide Eyes Terrified

**Author**: Shauna

**Disclaimer**: Don't own 'em, just love 'em.

**Rating**: Putting this one up at R for themes and events.

**Author's Note**: I've been gone for far too long. I did not mean to take this long, but things have been hectic. I've been caught up in leaving school for the summer, getting back to work, and writing a huge fic with SubOrbital. So, you have my apologies, though I hope you still want to read, if you're even still there. But you may just hate me for not updating, which I'll understand. But you probably don't want to hear me ramble. You've waited long enough!

**Dedication**: I must dedicate this to SubOrbital, because she is the one who made this chapter possible for all of you! Everyone should go and thank her! And also to Capegio, because I miss her, and I want her home now.

The tears came hot and heavy, streaking down his face like silent star trails. The tiny droplets of shattered hope fell softly onto Edmund's face, mixing with the tears Edmund had shed only moments before. Peter's shoulders shook violently as he wept; the small sounds he was barely making, the small breaths he was barely taking, entwined and caressed the once sun-kissed face below his, gently weaving through the oh-so-familiar raven-dark hair.

"Ed no, you can't," he whispered in between his tears, voice tiny and dejected. "You can't leave-… you can't leave me."

And once more he buried his face in the unruly dark hair, tears springing forth from the waterfall that had finally broken through the dam. He tried to smile, tried to pretend none of this was real.

"Do you remember that time, when you played that prank on the girls the night of the masquerade? Do you remember, Ed?" He paused for a moment, more tears falling into dark curls. "I promise we'll never make you pay for your pranks again. I promise we'll never make fun of you for looking good in that dress again. Ed, I promise, I promise," he sobbed brokenly, unable to keep the shaky smile on his face any longer. "Just please Ed, please don't leave me yet."

And then Peter was lifting his head, staring down at Edmund, waiting for a reaction-waiting for his brother to smile, waiting for those mischievous dark eyes to open and that smirking mouth to tell Peter he was being a pathetic git- but Edmund remained still. The blonde king's eyes narrowed.

"You can't leave me!" he cried out, pounding his fist once onto Edmund's chest, directly upon his sternum. Edmund's body jerked roughly beneath Peter's strike, but remained unmoving.

"Peter!" Lucy and Susan screamed at once, rushing forwards. But Peter was past hearing anything. His eyes were only on Edmund, and the unnatural stillness of his body, which only served to anger Peter even more.

"Ed, you promised!" he yelled desperately, once more slamming his fist down onto Edmund's chest.

"Peter, what are you doing?" Susan cried out, grabbing his wrist as he brought it back again. Peter immediately struggled against her.

"No! Nono! Let me go! He can't do this! No!" He flew his hand back, barely missing Susan's face and she let go out of shock, but Peter hardly noticed. He slammed it back down on Edmund's chest, feeling that same unnatural jerk of his body.

"Ed, you promised you wouldn't leave me!"

_Slam_.

"Peter, please!" Lucy cried desperately, in absolute shock, grabbing Peter and hugging him around the middle. Susan tried to move past Peter towards Edmund's body but Peter would not allow her. Together the sisters wrapped their arms around their one remaining brother, trying desperately to focus their combined strength on pulling Peter away. Peter would have none of it, still focused only on Edmund, even as he struggled.

"_Peter, stop this nonsense!"_

"You PROMISED you WOULDN'T leave me!"

_Slam. Slam._

"_Peter, what has gotten into you?"_

"I promised,"

_Slam_.

"_Peter, don't do this! He's your brother!"_

"and you promised!"

_Slam. _

"_Peter, leave him alone!"_

"You CAN'T"

_Slam._

"_Peter what are you doing!"_

"BREAK!-"

_Slam_.

"_PETER!"_

"-that PROMISE!"

Susan and Lucy grabbed him desperately and Tumnus rushed to aid them, finally realizing his help was needed. The three of them pulled Peter back from Edmund's body a split second later. Still struggling against them, Peter brought his fist down forcefully against Edmund's chest, absolutely refusing to submit, anger clouding his senses once more, and he felt the jerk of Edmund's body beneath his hand one more time.

And suddenly Edmund was there, Edmund was moving- his back arching, lithe body arching into an almost perfect bow as the young king was once more gasping in air.

Susan froze. Lucy froze. Tumnus froze. And Peter froze. Everyone in the room was in absolute shock, wide-eyes staring at the suddenly very-much-alive dark-haired teen. Peter was the first to react once more, and he pulled himself free of their hold, scrambling across the bed to pull Edmund's upper body back into his arms, his mind and body reacting on instinct. He leaned down, face close to Edmund's own, whispering frantically to him.

"Its ok, Ed,…shh…I'm here…GET THAT MAN IN HERE!...shhh…come on Ed, breathe with me…GET DORJAN IN HERE NOW!" The others in the room jumped, startled by Peter's outburst, harshly placed amongst his soothing words. Tumnus immediately left the room, leaving the girls to watch their brother desperately try to soothe the gasping teen in his arms. Lucy and Susan turned to each other, eyes full of unspoken understanding.

Peter pressed his forehead to Edmund's, his face still wet, eyes shining with tears unshed. "Come on, Ed…I know you can do this…just breathe for me…I've got you…" he whispered. But Edmund continued to heave, lungs unable to take in a proper breath. Peter squeezed his eyes tightly shut, forcing the rest of those brief tears back. Somewhere deep inside himself Peter realized that there were no more chances. Edmund had literally died once; if Peter could not calm him down, there would be no going back. He _had _to calm his brother down. "I'm not going to lose you again, Ed…I know you've been through so much…its only a little bit longer….just stay with me my little midnight devil…I've got you, you're safe…just stay with me…" Edmund's eyes shut tightly, tears leaking from the corners. He opened them again, wet brown irises staring into Peter's, silently pleading, his body unable to do anything but gasp in pain. Peter smiled, his lips curving upwards sadly, gently wiping a lone tear from Edmund's cheek with his thumb, trying to be strong for his brother.

There was a commotion at the door and the girls and Peter looked up quickly. The healer was escorted into the room between two guards, Oreius entering after them, shutting the door for good measure. Dorjan's eyes immediately locked onto Peter's, whose own bright blues had narrowed, flashing angrily. His thumb continued to stroke Edmund's cheek in an effort to calm him, even as he glared at the healer.

"Give me the medicine," he spoke, calmly, menacingly. The healer stood still for a moment, as though trying to process what Peter had said. And indeed, Peter had spoken so softly, it was barely heard over the heartbreaking sounds coming from his brother. The few seconds of silence were interrupted when Dorjan laughed, startling the girls; though if he had startled Peter it did not show. He stopped just as quickly, eyes locking back onto Peter's challengingly.

"Do you really think that I would keep the antidote on my person, foolish boy?" he mocked, face set upwards in a twisted sneer. Peter glared intently, arms still cradling his shaking brother. After a few moments he responded, voice laced with a quiet authority.

"Yes, for you would wish to be sure that no one was able to lay their hands on it." Peter glanced to the guards. "Search him," he ordered, eyes returning to Edmund once more. As the guards stepped closer the man pulled a small vial out of his pocket, holding it out.

"Take one more step towards me and I'll drop it."

Well, there you have it. I hope it wasn't too bad. So tell me, did any of you catch just what Peter did? And how many of you truly expected Peter to react like that? Haha be truthful now! I hope that the next chapter doesn't take as long to post, but if Sub has anything to do with it, it'll be up rather fast. I hope you all enjoyed this one! Review if you wish to tell me that people are still reading. Otherwise I'll understand if you don't and I'll stop writing! Muah to you all!


	8. Chapter 8

**Title**: Wide Eyes Terrified

**Author**: Shauna

**Disclaimer**: Don't own 'em, just love 'em.

**Rating**: Putting this one up at R for themes and events.

**Author's Note**: Sorry, all. I know it has been a while, but I had to send my computer in to be fixed. This chapter was the hardest one to write, and the reason why I took such a long break earlier, between chapters 6 and 7. I hope you do not mind, it's another long chapter, though chapter 4 still wins in length. I hope you enjoy this one, and find some of the answers that perhaps you sought. Enjoy!  
Also: SubOrbitalz actually helped me to write this, literally wrote a few pieces. So I would like to give her credit, though I will not point out which pieces. But I daresay if you find good writing, then you'll know its hers. ;) ta.

**Dedication**: This one again has to go out to SubOrbital, for more reasons than one. A)She actually helped me write it and get Dorjan's character complete. B)She's the one who got me to write it. C)This is a thank you for writing a chapter of her story nice and quick. So Sub, I love you! I hope you enjoy, and enjoy how it has been changed! Though some lines are the same. Oh and Sub, I'm sorry you were so disappointed last night! Cheer up hun! This is for you! Now cheer up:D

* * *

The whole room went completely still, save for Edmund, who was still gasping and choking on the bed in Peter's arms. The guards moved forward on instinct after that moment's hesitation, but Peter stopped them with a look. He brought Edmund closer to him, pulling his younger brother into his lap, arms wrapping more tightly around him, before he turned back to gaze at the supposed healer.

"What do you want?" Susan spoke from the side, breaking the silence before Peter could. The man turned to her, sneering.

"Quiet, wench," he responded, eyes turning back to Peter. "Do you even know who I am? Do you even know what it is you took from me?" Peter's expression did not change, his icy-blue stare did not falter.

"I have never seen you before. Never." The contempt in his voice was evident.

"An even greater crime! For not only are you unaware of the crime, but you are unaware of whom you committed it against!" Dorjan spoke with a passion in his voice as if he had somehow been anticipating this moment for far longer than he could bear, and now his moment had finally come, "I was a King before you stole it all away from me, Peter. Do you know what it is to rule, to live in true luxury, to have all you desire, only to lose it all to a barbarian king? Well now it is your turn to lose something most precious to you!" And he began moving, stalking towards the bed with the vial still clenched so tightly in his hand that only the corked top could be seen. Peter instantly pulled Edmund closer to him, as though trying to hide his gasping brother from Dorjan's view.

"I stole nothing from you, you have no right!" His eyes narrowed, voice dropping to a menacing whisper. "I do know what that feels like, and if you do too, than you'd help to stop it, now." Dorjan merely began to laugh again, staring condescendingly down at Peter.

"Don't you see, foolish boy?" the healer cried out mockingly. "I want you to suffer. Suffer for the riches and wealth you took from me. Suffer for the anguish you caused my family," he spat, before leering at the gasping boy in Peter's arms. "Suffer, boy." Edmund seemed unaware of the events unfolding around him, his wide-terrified eyes staring blankly as violent tremors continued to wrack his body. Dorjan's head cocked to the side, eyes filled with little concern. "He looks pained, so sad." Peter's eyes flashed, hands tightening in their grip on Edmund.

"I caused you no anguish. If you wish to make me suffer, then make _me _suffer. But leave my brother out of your dispute, for he has done nothing to you," Peter grit out, defensively. A small sound escaped from Edmund, one that could only have come from the effort of trying to take a proper breath and Peter whirled away from Dorjan. "It's alright, Ed. Just a little bit longer. Just hold on a moment longer," he whispered, eyes softening to tenderness as he gazed into anguished browns. Edmund did not answer, could not answer, though he blinked slowly a moment later, the only part of himself that he could control. Peter wanted to take that as an 'ok,' and he smiled softly, kissing the younger King's forehead, trying to reassure him. "That's it, Ed. Just hold on." He turned back to Dorjan again, the tenderness instantly replaced with vivid fury, unable to block out the feel of Edmund heaving against him. He could even feel the gentle sensation of eyelashes against his neck when Edmund blinked, and he realized now was not the time to talk. "Give me the medicine. Now."

"You forget your place, boy." Dorjan hissed. But then he shrugged, face set in a sinister sneer. "I wished to make you suffer, and oh how I have succeeded," his tone matched the triumph he felt. "I am making you suffer most greatly."

If Peter could, he would have rushed to the man and taken the vial forcefully, but he could not. He simply refused to let his brother go. He knew Dorjan's words were true, frightfully, and horrifically true, but he wanted this to stop. Not because of his suffering, but Edmund's pain.

"Yet you would make him suffer too? You would make someone who is truly guilty of no crimes suffer for another's crime?" Peter ground out from between clenched teeth, his hand moving to cradle Edmund's head against his neck, trying to calm him and comfort him at the same time.

"My family was guilty of no crimes before you destroyed their lives!" Dorjan cried, passionately, throwing his clenched hand up in front of Peter's face. But he stopped before it came into contact, quickly composing himself. "It was my intent to let _you_ suffer through the effects of this poison, let _you_ feel my anguish turned physical before it killed you. But after I took on the job of Narnian healer, after watching you closely for months, I knew it would not be enough." He nodded to Edmund, who had yet to regain his breath, nor stem the pain that wracked his body. "And so he became my target. I wanted to make you suffer, and it worked tenfold. After all, both of you are so connected-" he turned and grinned grotesquely at Susan, "-kill one and the other will follow." Susan dimly remembered something very similar coming from her mouth not to long ago, and clapped a hand to her mouth.

The man turned back to the bed and reached out, about to press a finger into Edmund's cheek. Peter jerked Edmund sharply away from the would-be assassin. "Don't you dare touch him," he growled, voice low. The healer sneered, nonplussed at the King's anger. He leaned forward, putting his face right before Peter's. Peter stared back, eyes full of malice, refusing to back away.

"I give you what you gave me, boy. This is on your conscience. It is you who caused this." He leaned back again, opening his hand to reveal the small vial, though not close enough for Peter to take it. He held up the tinted green glass to the light, fiddling with it idly. "How does it feel, Peter, to be helpless, to have no power over your own fate? How does it feel?" Dorjan asked casually. Peter grit his teeth, blue eyes flashing again.

"I do have power of my own fate," he hissed angrily. He opened his mouth to speak again, but whatever he was about to say fled his mind as Edmund seemed to freeze against him. He whirled back, eyes wide, to see Edmund's mouth open, but no sounds were escaping him, not even the smallest breath. "Ed!" Peter cried softly, but fiercely, trying to reach him. Edmund's eyes slowly flickered up, catching onto Peter's. His lips moved silently and yet Peter was not quite sure that Edmund truly saw him. He leaned down, whispering his words against Edmund's temple, so as not to be heard by Dorjan. "Come on, Ed. You need to breathe. Just calm down. Try a small one, I'm right here; you're safe. Lucy's here, Susan's here, I'm here. We've got you. Just try...one small one...just one..."

Edmund seemed to react not at all for a few moments, and Peter was truly feeling the weight of helplessness wash over him. "Come on, Ed, you can d-" the small sound that escaped Edmund's mouth cut him off once more, and Peter watched him anxiously, thumb smoothing over his cheek, waiting for another one. And it came. Edmund's eyes fluttered, dimming slightly, but something seemed to break within him after that tiny breath, and he sighed out another long, yet small breath, before he went limp against Peter. Peter's eyes were wide and he hovered his hand over Edmund's nose and mouth. Breath, air, he could feel it. Weak, barely there, but there. The same hand was then pressed to Edmund's chest. A heartbeat. Again weak, much too slow, but there. Peter let his hand once more come up to cradle Edmund's head, keeping him safely in place tucked beneath Peter's chin. He turned back to Dorjan, eyes frightfully terrified. "Please just give me the medicine," he gasped, almost begging now.

And still Dorjan was completely nonplussed by Peter's pleas. He continued to fiddle with the vial as he had while Peter was focused on Edmund. He ignored Peter's words completely, almost thinking out loud.

"…Destroying people's lives with a simple scratch of your quill, never having to pay the consequences as something so little to you becomes something so big to them… Well you know what, your majesty, with a simple flick of my wrist, I can destroy your life." Dorjan smiled softly to himself, eyes still focused on the vial. "It is truly amazing, is it not, that all I must do is-" he opened his hand, letting the vial almost slide from his fingers before he caught it. He glanced up and around as everyone in the room jerked instinctively from his actions before he finished his sentence. "-open my fingers, and I can destroy your life."

Peter's eyes narrowed, the blue eyes again the stormy grey they had been in the kitchens.

"You have no right to do this. You have no right to murder him." Dorjan crossed his arms, staring the High King down unflinchingly.

"An eye for an eye, Peter. This is your punishment. His death is your punishment. And you shall live with that guilt, with this fate, for the rest of your life. You are powerless, boy. You are powerless."

"Our fates are our own, you have no right," Peter intoned again, quiet words spoken with conviction.

"You have power over your own fate, but do you have power over his?" Dorjan replied, tapping his arm.

"He should have power over his own fate," Peter whispered fiercely, the anguish in his own blues now clearly evident. "You punish me for something I did not do, for something he did not do. He is an innocent! I do not even know you, how could l have done anything to you?"

"Something you did not do?" Dorjan growled with fierce rage, "Something you did not do!" Dorjan stalked closer to Peter, holding up the vial, "You stole my life from me, Peter! And now you deny your part! You best rephrase that or I shall show you what this medicine looks like upon the floor."

Peter merely gazed unflinchingly back at Dorjan, knowing he could not move away because he was not allowed to move. But that did not stop him from making sure that Edmund was as far away from the man as possible, and as close to Peter as possible. "If I tell you what you wish to hear, will you give him the medicine?" he asked darkly, fiercely.

"You tell me the truth, not what I wish." Dorjan said with no hint of sympathy in his voice, "Tell me the truth!"

"He has been telling you the truth!" Lucy cried angrily, cutting in from her spot across the room. "You monster, you ask for lies!"

"You best shut your mouth, little girl," Dorjan said as he took the lid from the vial and teased to tip it over. "Peter, you stole my life from me, now your brother will pay for it and it shall be on your head. Die, Edmund, die because of your brother's crimes!"

"No!" Peter cried, his body jerking slightly, wishing he could move forward. "We have not moved, do not break your word!" he gasped desperately, eyes frantic.

"I want to hear your full confession," Dorjan said sternly, holding the vial open and tipped slightly, prepared to spill it. "I want to hear you say the words I long to hear. And perhaps if I do, I might consider giving you the medicine. But you dare not lie to me! You stole my life from me with one signature! I was merely a piece of paper to you! My life and my family were simply words that you no longer even remember! Confess your own crimes now, or I shall return that flick of your wrist with one of mine own!"

Peter gazed down at Edmund, still resting in the crook of his neck, blissfully unaware of all around him. He leaned his own head down, resting his cheek against his brother's forehead, feeling the dark curls brush against his face as he did so. He closed his eyes and breathed deeply, allowing Edmund's presence to calm him once more. He opened them again, lifting his head so his hand could stroke the dark curls back, eyes almost...defeated. He continued to trace his brother's image with his eyes and his face fell once more. He turned to Dorjan, eyes almost desolate. "How can I confess if I do not know what it is I did?" he asked softly, voice rather tiny.

Lucy could not believe what she was hearing. She continued to rein her anger in, but it was fast working its way to the surface once more. She did not want a repeat of what had happened the first time she spoke up, but the disbelief at seeing her eldest brother give up, was not something she would have believed could happen. And yet at the same time, a tiny voice reminded her that Peter would truly do anything to safeguard Edmund's life, any of their lives. But she knew that Peter was not one to just destroy the lives of any people. To be forced to confess a crime he did not do, Lucy could hardly stand it, but she held her tongue.

"When you took back the Lone Islands, you signed a law that barred all slavery and you made no provisions for those whose livelihoods depended on it!" Dorjan said with rage in his eyes. "You took my wealth, my home, my title, you took it all. I could not feed my children! The slaves took everything and I was powerless to do anything! I lost more than you are about to lose right now. You are a monster, Peter! A monster! Say it! Say it now! Tell me with your own lips that you are a monster who condemns children to death! A monster that upsets what he does not understand! Tell me you are a monster whose brother will die because of his cruelty!"

"I would never condemn children to death!" Peter cried, his anger rising once more in disgust. "You are about to kill the Just King, because you lost people who were never yours to begin with!" he ground out, arms tightening around Edmund as his body tensed in loathsome anger.

"No, Peter. I am about to kill the Just King for people who were mine to begin with. An eye for an eye." Dorjan said coldly.

"They are people, not property!" Peter's eyes narrowed. "They are free, free to choose their own fates. You have no right over them, nor do you have any right over Edmund. This is not an eye for an eye. You are asking for a heart when nothing was taken from you." Peter could hardly believe this man. Slaves? He was depriving Narnia of her King, over humans that he cared little for?

"No, Peter. For my son, who most definitely belonged to me!" Dorjan said with a flicker of hesitation in his eyes. "This is an eye for an eye."

"Your son is not property either, he is your son." Peter's eyes narrowed. "You are truly a monster. Give him the medicine, now. You have no right to withhold it." He turned back to Edmund, rubbing his cheek once before checking that he was still breathing, though he could feel the very faint rise and fall of Edmund's chest against his own. "How did your son die?" he asked in low tones.

Dorjan seemed to hesitate once more, but only for the smallest moment. He leaned in rage burning once again.

"Are you going to confess your crimes or not?" he countered, voice just as low as Peter's.

"I committed no crime by freeing those people. Your son did not die because they were free." Peter did not turn as he spoke, his eyes still studying Edmund's face.

"That is it. You have sealed his fate with your defiance." Dorjan said as he turned the vial and spilled some of the liquid out.

Peter turned at the sound of someone's cry, and he jerked forward slightly. The others in the room jerked as well, but they were stopped from rushing forwards by Peter. "Stop!" he cried at the man, eyes desperate again. He did not even look at the liquid on the floor, only stared wildly between the tiny vial of tinted glass and Dorjan's face. "You told me I have no control over his fate! How dare you take from him what is not meant to be taken!" Dorjan stopped spilling, shoving his face forward into Peter's suddenly.

"Do you still not understand Son of Adam? I am through talking with you. I never had any intention of letting your brother live. Clearly there is no need for me to try and save him." He laughed grotesquely. "And you pathetic Narnians thought I was actually helping." He leaned close to Peter's ear, whispering words meant only for the blonde king- words that coursed like a poison through Peter's veins.

"He's worth just as much as you are, simply because you love him." He leaned back, allowing everyone to hear.

"Simply because you love him."

Something in Peter's eyes flickered, and his stiff posture fell as he quickly looked down at Edmund. The peaceful look on his brother's face contrasted sharply with the turmoil he felt inside. He ran a hand down from Edmund's temple. He pressed a kiss to his brother's forehead, eyes filling with a sad acceptance. The room was silent, so silent, and the healer stood with triumph as a very tiny breathy sob escaped Peter, it was so small, so tiny, yet it seemed to echo throughout the chamber Peter turned his head slightly to the side, his eyes looking down to the sheets, whispering brokenly.

"l...l am a monster."

"You are a monster who is responsible for his brother's fate. Tell me it is your fault that Edmund is like this. Tell me it is your fault that Edmund could die." Dorjan taunted, sneering as he toyed with the vial.

Peter's shoulders slumped even more, but still he held his brother to him, glad that Edmund was not awake to hear this. Not that Edmund had truly been awake at all since his collapse. But he was at least glad that his breathing was present, despite being faint. He was just...sleeping. But it was still not a natural sleep. His breaths were not sure and full and even. His cheeks were pale yet flushed with fever, and the heat emanating from Edmund's body reminded Peter that Edmund was anything but alright. His brother was truly dying. "It-" his voice broke slightly and he swallowed thickly. "It is my fault that Edmund...could...die," he whispered, unable to wonder if perhaps that statement was actually true.

"You are a pig, aren't you, Peter. You are not worthy of living," Dorjan scowled. "Aren't you? Aren't you?"

Peter tried one last time, turning defeated eyes to Dorjan once more. "I am not worthy of living." And those words were spoken rather firmly, for he never truly believed he was anyway. He nodded his head slightly, motioning to the King lying against him. "But he is."

"You are not worthy of anything, are you, Peter?" Dorjan stated, rather firmly, insisting that he hear it again. "Are you?"

Peter squeezed his eyes shut, trying to keep himself calm. Edmund needed him. Lucy watched as Peter shut his eyes, sensing that he was trying to close out Dorjan's words. She could hardly believe what this man was doing, what this man was doing to her brothers. The growl that escaped her mouth was too low to be heard, and she took a step forward, unseen by the others. Peter finally opened his eyes again, the once defiant blues now quiescent, almost subservient.

"No..." he whispered, so softly it was barely heard.

"Then perhaps you will poison yourself in exchange for me giving the cure to him," Dorjan said as he revealed another vial so that both hands were now full. "Well? Since you are not worthy to live? Since you are a pig and a monster and have no worth, because you are spit ..." He said as he did just that, spitting out at Peter's face, "You are scum, filth, bile, excrement. You are worthless to the world, and to all who inhabit it! You are nothing to anyone!"

Lucy's eyes flashed.

"Shut up!" She cried, unable to take it anymore. "Just shut up!" She lunged forwards, blinded by her anger. "Leave him alone! Get away from them!" Peter's head whipped to the side, his eye wide and wild.

"Lucy, no!"

The healer turned at her cry, and he shook his head.

"Tut tut, little girl. Look what you did."

Lucy stopped short, realizing what she had done, realizing just what Dorjan had done. But it was too late. The man opened his hand, the small vial falling to the floor, shattering in a shower of red liquid across the stones.

* * *

Well, there you have it! Hope you enjoyed:D Poor Ed, looks like he's going to die after all. So sorry! -waves and runs off, dodging stones that are being hurled at her-


	9. Chapter 9

**Title**: Wide Eyes Terrified

**Author**: Shauna

**Disclaimer**: Don't own 'em, just love 'em.

**Rating**: Putting this one up at R for themes and events.

**Author's Note**: Yes, I know this has taken just as long. I'm sorry for the delay. Its been rather hectic with school. They always say sophomore year is the worst, and I am not doubting it. The fact that I am able to post this on my busiest week is just…well I'm not quite sure how it happened. But here it is. Sorry for the delay, and sorry for the mistakes. I wanted to make it perfect for you guys, but alas, that will never happen. So here you go.

**Dedication**: That's easy. We all know who the real writer's of this are. My inspiration. SubOrbitalz, Capegio, and Elexandros. You girls rock my socks completely off. So this one is going out to you.

And also, a special little shoutout to Narniangirl232 and her friend Alyssa. Hope this was worth the wait. :)

* * *

Lucy clapped a hand to her mouth, realizing what she had done, and Peter turned back to Edmund quickly, his sense of urgency redoubled. He did not know what to do. He was not sure why he still had hope. Edmund had not moved, still resting peacefully against Peter. Edmund did not know that Peter had just failed to protect him, failed to do what he had always promised he would.

The medicine that would ensure Edmund's recovery had just been shattered on the floor, the red liquid mingling with the green glass shards of the vial, oozing into the cracks of the stones. He had seen it splash everywhere in tiny droplets of uselessness. Wait a minute…red? Peter glanced up again, eyes scanning the floor. Red liquid. Red. Red like the blood Edmund had coughed up onto his tunic so many nights. Red like the droplets that stained the outer balcony, a grotesque garden of roses amidst an unrelenting sea of stone

...Red like the poison he had seen the man pouring into his cup.

Red.

All eyes shifted to Peter as he carefully pulled his brother from his arms, laying him down so tenderly on the bed once more. No one had moved, the unyielding shatter of breaking glass continued to echo through everyone's mind, until it was replaced by an awful stillness, interrupted only by the soft slide of Peter's hand as it slipped out from beneath Edmund's head, the raven-haired king once more cradled by the pillow. Edmund never felt the shift in positions, never felt the softness of the pillow, or the loss of Peter's warmth beneath his cheek. Peter's face remained completely calm, completely sedate, as though he were strangely detached from everything going on around him. Indeed, the room remained silent, watching Peter as he slowly pulled away from Edmund until only his hand rested over Edmund's and he had turned to face Dorjan.

"That was not the medicine," he said, so softly, yet so placidly, that even Dorjan was not sure he had heard him correctly.

"What?" Lucy questioned from the other side, still standing a step ahead of Susan. Dorjan turned at the sound of her voice, and behind him…Peter growled.

"I said…that was not…the medicine!" he cried, lunging at Dorjan so quickly and so suddenly that none had time to realize what was happening. Dorjan whirled around just as Peter's right hand closed over Dorjan's fist, trapping the remaining vial between their fingers as they fell to the ground in a fury of thrashing arms and legs.

"You want a monster, then you shall see a monster," Peter snarled as he pinned Dorjan to the floor, his free hand gripping fiercely to the other's neck. "If I am to be in charge of his fate, than you'll not take his life from him."

"I already have," Dorjan hissed triumphantly. He unpinned his free hand before Peter could respond and slammed it into Peter's face, knocking the king off of him. The two remained locked firmly by the hand, both refusing to give up the vial to the other. They thrashed again, desperate cries coming from Susan and Lucy. The guards instantly moved forwards to try and protect their King, but Peter and Dorjan were locked in such a desperate battle that an attempt to hit Dorjan would likely result in hitting Peter. But to jump in as well, risked giving Dorjan the chance to drop the vial, and that was simply not an option.

Susan watched in absolute shock as her brother and the supposed healer exchanged blows across the ground at the foot of Edmund's bed. They were very evenly matched, and Peter returned all of Dorjan's blows with fists of his own. Dorjan gasped when Peter's fist found his face and he growled, turning them over with such energy, straddling Peter and grabbing his head, slamming it into the floor. Peter cried out from surprise before that was cut off as Dorjan knocked the air from his lungs.

"What's the matter, Peter? Finally realized that I've clipped the wings of your little midnight devil?" he jeered tauntingly. Peter snarled and surged upwards, head butting Dorjan, reversing their positions once more. He slammed the man's head to the floor in much the same fashion.

"You'll never be able to clip his wings," he hissed ferally, eyes once more the stormy grey they had been earlier, entrenched once more in his fury, entrenched in his own wrath, desperate for vengeance. The two continued to exchange blows, neither gaining the upper ground for very long.

"Peter!" Lucy screamed next to her, wanting to help as much as Susan, but neither able to do so. Susan did not know what to say, what to do. She glanced up as a movement caught her gaze.

"No…" she whispered. Edmund was no longer lying still upon the bed. He had begun shifting; his chest was rising and falling much more rapidly. "No…Edmund, no…" she gasped, knowing what was about to happen. She tried to rush forwards but was stopped by Dorjan and Peter, nearly tripping over them and breaking the contact that kept the vial unbroken between Dorjan's fingers. She glanced up again in horror. Three more times she was unable to get past, get to Edmund, and Edmund continued to toss. His restlessness soon turned to thrashes as his breathing became even more of a struggle.

"Peter!" Susan screamed, knowing of no other way to get to Edmund. Peter could not hear her, could not hear Edmund, so intent was he on his furious battle with Dorjan. But if he was not there to calm Edmund, Edmund would not survive to get the antidote should Peter win his battle. "Peter!" Susan glanced up again. Edmund was gasping now, choking on the blood that was welling in his throat, too weak to pull himself upright and get it out, still unconscious to all else. On the floor before the bed, Peter and Dorjan continued to struggle endlessly, both fighting for the tiny vial that was held by both and neither at once. Peter flipped them both over again, knocking Dorjan's head into the stones with enough force to temporarily stun him. His free hand instantly flew to meet his other, seeking desperately to pry Dorjan's fingers apart, to win Edmund's life back, willing it with all his strength, with everything in his being.

Susan watched her younger brother helplessly. Edmund's choking was stronger now, his thin chest struggling desperately for air, for anything at all. His back was arching in agony, body trembling, fingers weakly grabbing for something, anything, twisting in the sheets. Peter's fingers were twisting against Dorjan's, the vial slip-sliding between their desperate, seeking grasp. Edmund was twisting and thrashing on the bed as Peter and Dorjan thrashed endlessly about the floor. Peter pinned Dorjan down; Edmund's back arched impossibly high. Peter finally wrenched the vial from Dorjan's hands; all sounds coming from Edmund stopped altogether. There was a single, split second of stillness and silence before everything came together in a rush of sound.

"PETER!" Susan screamed again, her voice finally, _finally,_ breaking through the haze of his mind, cutting sharply through the heavy silence, the certain calm before the storm, "EDMUND!"

Peter head whipped around and he jerked, gasping in agony, before he threw himself away from Dorjan and clambered desperately across the bed, vial held tightly in his hand. So quickly his writhing brother was pulled up and into his arms, once more settled back against his chest. Almost instantly Edmund's head lolled to the side, the blood draining from his mouth, staining his lips a harsh, scarlet red, smattering across Peter's tunic and saturating the twisted sheets. Peter squeezed his eyes shut, feeling the warm wetness, though it was invisible against the wine-dark color of his tunic.

"I've got you, Ed," he whispered, finding Edmund's hands and covering them with his own, crisscrossing his arms over the younger king's and wrapping them about his waist, keeping him secure, tucked safely away. He did not even have time to set the vial down, yet he knew that unless he could calm Edmund down, the younger king would not be able to take the antidote. Edmund's head turned, burying into Peter's neck, as though somewhere in his fever-ridden agony, he had heard the soft sound of his older brother's voice. A few moments later Edmund's head jerked back, his body arching painfully against Peter's. Peter squeezed his eyes shut for a moment, tightening his hold on his brother to keep him from sliding away. He pressed his cheek to Edmund's temple. "Come on, Ed, breathe with me," he whispered hoarsely, trying to keep his voice steady, trying to keep his own breaths as slow as possible. But it was so hard to do. Peter needed Edmund as his rock just as much as Edmund needed Peter.

The entire room stood with bated breath; the only movement came from the two figures rocking on the bed; the only sound was Edmund's anguished gasps and Peter's whispered words. Edmund's eyes weakly fluttered open, the agony staining the warm browns wet. Peter held Edmund close, his entire body tensed, trying not to rock with Edmund's heaves, trying to keep the younger king in place, trying to ground him. Yet despite his best efforts, Edmund's tortured gasps did not stop. The raven-haired king's head lolled slowly to the side on Peter's shoulder and Peter's head tilted, their temples meeting with such synchronicity, as though two were not two, but one.

"Come on, Ed, I've got you," Peter breathed, his clear blue eyes meeting Edmund's clouded browns with such a tenderness, a jump of hope fluttering in his chest at seeing those eyes. "I have the medicine, Ed. You just have to calm down. Can you calm down for me?" he asked softly, hopefully, a shaky smile on his face. Edmund continued to gaze at Peter, though whether he could truly see him, whether he was awake enough to understand… He blinked slowly, finding the strength to lift his lids once more, the browns beneath just as tormented. They fluttered once, fluttered twice, and then slid shut again, his brows furrowing in pain as he arched again in Peter's arms, a mewl escaping between the gasps: the never-ending sound that permeated each soul just as harshly as it permeated the air about them.

And then it stopped.

Peter's eyes widened as Edmund began gasping silently, no air passing in or out of his starved lungs. He had seen this happen before, they all had.

"No, Ed. Aslan, no," he whispered fiercely, pressing his brother's back more firmly against his chest, wincing slightly. "Breathe, Ed. Feel me. Feel my breaths." He refused to lose his brother again. He refused to lose his brother at all. He forced his own frantic breaths to calm, slowing them even more so than normal. "Breathe…breathe…" he whispered over and over into Edmund's ear, the words falling into rhythm with his own breaths.

"Breathe…breathe…"

Edmund continued to gasp for breath, his body twisting with the wracking pain.

"…Breathe…breathe…"

Susan and Lucy watched anxiously, the older covering her mouth with one delicate hand, the younger not moving at all, afraid that the fragile rhythm created by her brother would break if she did.

"…Breathe…breathe…"

Edmund arched again but Peter kept him in place, so that his only movements were to rise and fall with the rising and falling of his older brother's chest, in rhythm with his breathing.

"…Breathe…breathe…"

Edmund was teetering on the edge of a borderline, standing on the rim of the precipice. He still choked weakly, painfully, but so desperately, begging for that one small bit of life-giving air, a chance free from the pain of his abused lungs, pain from the blood that welled up in his throat, splattering out into the air with his coughs. He was falling. He was falling. He was fading. He could not make it, he could not do it.

"…Breathe…breathe…"

And slowly…Edmund did. It was not big. Just the tiniest sound that signified the smallest amount of air had passed the blood, and the coughs. …Just the tiniest sound that signified that his lungs had felt the air.

"…Breathe…breathe…"

Peter's eyes remained closed, his willpower lying behind dark eyelids, inside blue eyes. He kept himself focused, refusing to break his rhythm. Susan watched, noting the small difference in Edmund's gasps with a flutter of hope. _Come on, Edmund…come on…_

It was as though something suddenly gave way, and with each moment, every breath Edmund took was slower, fuller than the one before it, until everything clicked into place, and he became one with his brother, breathing in synchronicity. And indeed, to everyone in the room, everything felt right. Everything fell into place and slowly, Edmund sank backwards fully into Peter, his body completely lax in his brother's arms. Only then did Peter open his eyes. He kissed Edmund's temple with relief.

"Thank you, Ed, thank you," he whispered, pulling out the hand that held the vial. He quickly uncorked it, shifting Edmund so that he was more sideways in his arms, facing him. He swiftly placed the vial to Edmund's lips. "Gently now, Ed. It will help, I promise," he murmured soothingly, cradling Edmund with one arm. "You can do it, small sips now."

Peter had to tilt the vial himself, trickling the smallest drops into Edmund's mouth, he waited a moment with bated breath, waited with bated breath until a sigh of relief escaped him as Edmund swallowed a few moments later.

"That's it, Ed, that's it…" he tilted the vial again, and slowly, in time, Edmund swallowed the entire contents. Peter pulled the now-empty vial back, watching his brother with concern, unsure what to expect. Edmund slowly sighed out a breath, before his head slipped forwards to rest in the crook of Peter's neck and his body went completely limp. Peter breathed out a moment later, leaning his forehead against Edmund's, wrapping both arms about his raven-haired brother once more, content to remain just that way.

"No!" Dorjan shouted furiously, suddenly making himself known. Peter's head whipped up, just as all heads turned in surprise Dorjan. But Dorjan was too quick; he lunged forward, bloody knife raised, eyes locked intently on the two boys sitting on the bed. Peter knew he would not be able to move in time-could not move in time. Susan screamed something, Lucy screamed something, but it was of no use: they were too far away.

Peter cupped the back of Edmund's head to keep him in place and curled himself protectively over Edmund, shielding his brother's body with his own as Dorjan dove towards them from the foot of the bed, eyes locked upon Peter's unguarded back, malicious intent in his wild eyes.

* * *

Well, there you have it. I cannot tell you when the next one will be coming to you, but you can expect it won't be soon. I go for quality over time apparently. :) But since break is coming up in less than three weeks, perhaps I will be able to get it up soon. So we'll see! I hope no one tries to kill me again! meep! -dodges- 


	10. Chapter 10

**Title**: Wide Eyes Terrified

**Author**: Shauna/KJ

**Disclaimer**: Don't own 'em, just love 'em.

**Rating**: Putting this one up at R for themes and events.

**Author's Note**: A couple of people were wondering why Dorjan waited for Peter to give the medicine before he moved forwards. Part of that should hopefully be answered in this chapter, but also, Dorjan was not expecting Edmund to live. As was part of his plan, to have Edmund die in Peter's arms was what he was going for. So it was intentional that he did not move.

**Dedication**: Lesse, Sub, El, Fishy, and Christina. Each one of you helped in some way, and I thank you, as well as everyone else, for staying tuned and waiting for my sorry arse to post this. :)

I'd also like to make a special announcement. Anyone who has printed this story out (you know who you are) needs to see a psychiatrist immediately. You are well past the stages of temporary and benign insanity. Thank you.

* * *

"…Lucy…"

A floating chuckle…soft…gentle…

"…Lucy…."

There was no other sound. No wind, no movement.

Stillness. A voice. Hidden within the recesses of the silence.

"…Lucy…"

Lucy glanced around in confusion, searching for the source, the face, the image of the voice. There was another soft chuckle that wafted gently towards her on the wings of quiet.

"…Lucy…"

Lucy's head whipped in the other direction. But there was nothing. There was…nothing. The nothing did not move, did not breathe. Lucy could not feel anything. Her hands tried to part the darkness, but they moved through air, only she did not feel any air. Her body seemed wound up, paused in suspended animation. …And yet she was animated. Lucy looked frantically around again. At what? At the darkness? She was searching: searching for something, searching for anything. She was searching for the one thing that was not the darkness, not the stillness. Not the silence nor the emptiness nor the calm, nor the quiet. She was searching…

"Edmund!? Where are you!?"

Her only answer was another gentle chuckle, hovering on the edge of her consciousness, or her imagination. A tender touch across her cheek, felt instantly yet felt not at all.

"…Are you not going to come, Lucy?..." Lucy's head whipped around again. The same stillness, the same silence, the same…nothing: wandering around the precipice of eternity.

"Come where, Edmund!? Where are you!? I cannot see you!" she screamed. Or maybe she did not. She could hear the words, but she could not feel them pass her lips.

"...I can see you, Lucy… Why do you not come?... Why do you not come?..."

A cry of frustration welled up in Lucy's throat. No matter where she looked, where she turned, there was nothing. Just nothing. Nothing. Only nothing. No more nothing! Something! Anything!

"Edmund! Where are you!? Why can I not see you!?"

If Lucy heard that soft laughter one more time she was going to…

"…Miss too much if you stop to think, Lucy…"

Think? Think?! THINK!?!

"Stopping to think? Stopping where? Stopping what?! Edmund! I just want to see you!" Lucy screamed again, the frustration bubbling over, spilling past her lips with the words, swallowed up instantly into the nothingness about her, if the words ever existed in the first place.

"…See me, Lucy…Open your eyes…"

Lucy blinked furiously. Open…close…open…close…open…open…nothing. Tears. Wet. Wet? She could not feel them, but she knew they were there. She just _knew_ it.

"My eyes are open, Edmund! I am opening my eyes, but I never see anything! I cannot see you!"

Lucy could swear she heard something. Something that was not Edmund: that was not his voice. It was faint, distant, humming on the borderline of her hearing, borderline of her imagination.

"…Deny it, Lucy…"

"Deny what, Edmund?" The noise was growing louder. It was smooth, it was ever present. It was just there.

"…Miss too much if you stop to think, Lucy…"

"Edmund!"

"…Deny it, Lucy…Look reality in the eye…and deny it…"

"Edmund!?"

Lucy was turning about, spinning amidst the nothing, amidst the stillness, searching through the clashes of colours that created the blackness, the darkness. Searching for a voice that was everywhere and nowhere. Searching for a face, searching, searching, seeking, finding… The noise was growing louder, maybe closer, no never closer, not closer, where is closer… "Miss too much if you stop to think, Lucy…" Twisting, colliding, explosions of colour and sound that echoed about her, never existing, maybe existing. Darkness, blackness…was it dark, was it black? "Don't think, Lu, don't think" crushing, screaming, crying, nothing, seeing, blind, chaos, stillness, "deny it, Lu," colliding, crashing, loud, roaring, deafening, stillness, immobile, lifeless, dead, "miss too much, Lu," breathing, shattering, gasping, noise, "find me, Lu," noise, clatter, blasting, blaring, seeking, searching, grasping, finding, "don't think, Lu," finding, finding, nothingblacknesspandemoniumquietsolitudebrowneyesscreamingfallingEdmundseeingwhisperscrashesnothingeverythinganythingsomething, Lucy screamed, her eyes flying open-

-stop.

* * *

Peter turned his head in surprise, his body still shielding Edmund protectively. Dorjan's scream of anger choked off suddenly into a shocked gurgle. The delicate balance of the room had suddenly been interrupted, and now it teetered on the edge of shattering. All eyes rested on the man, his knife still raised, yet he did not move. Dorjan's eyes seemed surprised for but a moment before he slumped forwards, upper half falling onto the bed before it slid off and onto the floor. Peter's gaze moved from Dorjan to his sister's as they were revealed behind Dorjan. Lucy pulled out of her attacking stance, her body still poised from throwing her dagger as she stepped forwards. Her eyes were darkened, angered, and livid as she placed her foot on the dead man's back and jerked her dagger from his back. There was a cracking sound of splintering ribs as the dagger slid from a heart no longer beating. Lucy stared down at the man, her lips curled contemptuously. Her voice was the first to pierce the room, sounding nothing like Lucy as a growl escaped her.

"In _my_ household, you touch my brothers, and you die."

Lucy's voice seemed to echo around the room, bouncing around in the stillness, the aftershock of her actions. And it was in that moment that Lucy seemed to almost 'wake up.' She blinked, her brows furrowing before she looked down, realizing what she had done. But Peter was there before she could think any further. He slowly unwrapped one hand from around his brother's form, reaching out to his sister.

"Come here, Luce," he said softly, his eyes shining with love, pride, and understanding. Lucy looked up, locking her terrified eyes on Peter before she rushed forwards, jumping up onto the end of the bed and crawling forwards into Peter's embrace, hugging her brother's tightly. Peter hugged her fiercely with one arm, the other arm still holding Edmund securely to his chest. Though Edmund was enveloped in the hug, he did not awaken, softly sleeping in the crook of Peter's neck. Lucy's face was buried in Peter's neck as well, on the other side.

"He told me not to think, Peter. I didn't think, I just did it, I killed him but I couldn't let him hurt my brothers I couldn't let him hurt you I didn't mean-"

"Hush, Luce," Peter said softly, gently. He kissed her hair, rubbing her back. "You saved me. You saved Edmund. Do not fear what you have done. Edmund and I are alive because of your swift actions." Peter kissed the top of her head again, hugging her tightly. "I love you, Luce."

Lucy seemed to relax into her oldest brother's embrace, letting his gentle words wash over her, feeling the relief that came with it. She did not pick up her head for many moments, though she felt the bed dip as Susan came and sat down on Peter's other side, joining in their embrace. The three siblings rested together, allowing the moment to fully sink in. Between them, Edmund lay protected, nestled against Peter, hidden within the love of his family. Susan looked up as Oreius moved, the centaur general smiling gently to her as he and the guards picked up Dorjan's body and carried it from the room, leaving the four monarchs to their private moment.

Susan glanced back to Peter and Lucy and smiled, letting her fingers smooth gently over Edmund's hair. Yet it was Lucy who spoke up first, her brows furrowing.

"Peter, you're trembling," she said softly, confusion and worry in her eyes. Peter glanced to her and smiled softly, kissing her temple.

"It is just the aftereffects, Luce. Adrenaline. I'm alright," he replied quietly, motioning to the empty vial that he had let drop onto the bed. Susan glanced down and leaned over by Edmund's legs, picking up the small vial. Peter's eyes followed the movement.

"He almost died…" he murmured quietly, eyes almost haunted. Susan quickly glanced back to her older brother as Lucy tensed and pressed closer to Peter. Susan brushed Peter's sweaty bangs out of his eyes and kissed his temple, smoothing his hair down this time before she held the vial before his eyes.

"But he did not, Peter," she reassured, offering him a tiny smile. "He is alive because you saved him. You were able to get the medicine in time." Her eyes traveled down and she placed her hand gently over Edmund's heart, a genuine smile on her face from the weak, but steady beating she felt. "He lives, Peter. He almost died, but almost does not count. Not here, not now."

Peter inhaled a shaky breath but nodded, tilting his head down to rest against Edmund's, eyes closing. Lucy's brows furrowed again and she rubbed his trembling back.

"It's alright now, Peter. Everything is going to be alright," she said quietly, her voice optimistic in a way only her voice could be. Peter smiled gratefully, though he did not lift his head up. Lucy wrapped her arms around her oldest brother tightly, resting her head on his shoulder. She did not like seeing Peter so shaken up. Peter inhaled sharply and tensed before he closed his eyes and tried to calm his breathing. He let out a soft chuckle, hoping to calm his sister's worry as well.

"Forgive me, I think I just need a moment to let it all sink in," he murmured, holding Edmund more tightly. Susan nodded sorrowfully and followed Lucy's example, wrapping her arms around Peter as well. She rested her head on top of Peter's, since his was leaning against Edmund's. The three siblings were quiet for many moments before Lucy finally picked her head up, unable to take it anymore.

"Peter?" she asked quietly, "what about some tea? Would that help you to calm down? Susan and I could go and make you some?" Peter looked up to Lucy and smiled softly, bringing his hand up to stroke her cheek. He did not wish to worry her. He did not like seeing the worry in her eyes.

"That sounds lovely, Luce," he said gently, kissing her forehead. Lucy's face instantly brightened and she kissed his cheek, then Edmund's before she stood up.

"Come on, Su," she exclaimed, taking her sister's hand. "Everyone knows Peter likes the way you make tea the best." Susan smiled and allowed Lucy to pull her from the bed and to her feet. She kissed Peter's head.

"Take care of him, Peter," she said, though she knew it was unnecessary. "We'll be back soon, alright?" Peter nodded, looking up from the dark-haired king in his arms over to the beautiful queens, his sisters.

"I will, Su," he exclaimed quietly, looking more at ease than he had been in a long time, despite the trembling of his body. Susan and Lucy both smiled to Peter before they left the room, closing the door softly behind them.

* * *

By the time Susan had finished closing the door, Lucy was already well ahead of her. She caught up with her just as the redhead rounded the corner leading towards the main staircase. Lucy hugged her sister tightly, eyes dancing with relief.

"I'm so happy Edmund's going to be alright, Su!" she cried excitedly. Susan grinned down at her, the arm about her shoulders squeezing briefly.

"So am I, Lu, so am I." Her face became serious. "He has a lot of healing to do though, he's definitely not safe yet...been through too much." Lucy skipped ahead of her, turning to her sister and walking backwards, ignoring her sister's pessimistic words. Susan smiled at Lucy's enthusiasm.

"Well we are going to help him get better Su! But we have to make Peter some tea first!" she smiled brightly. Susan smiled in return, but it fell quickly, to be replaced by confusion.

"Lu, what is that on your dress?" Lucy glanced down, fingering the large spot of red near her hip. Her fingers came away wet. Lucy's brows knit in confusion, mirroring Susan's look.

"I…I don't know!" she exclaimed. Susan walked over and fingered the dress as well, examining the sticky wetness, before her eyes widened. She grabbed her sister's shoulders tightly.

"Lu, are you alright? This is…" she didn't have to finish the sentence. Lucy nodded her head vigorously, her own eyes widening in realization.

_Peter's head whipped up, just as all heads turned in surprise Dorjan. But Dorjan was too quick; he lunged forward, bloody knife raised, eyes locked intently on the two boys sitting on the bed. Peter cupped the back of Edmund's head to keep him in place and curled himself protectively over Edmund, shielding his brother's body with his own as Dorjan dove towards them from the foot of the bed, eyes locked upon Peter's unguarded back, malicious intent in his wild eyes. _

Lucy and Susan stared at one another, eyes opening in shock. Lucy's hands flew to her mouth and Susan cried out, realization dawning upon both of them.

"Oh Aslan…Peter!" Susan cried, turning and running back around the corner, Lucy hot on her heels.

* * *

Well, there you have it. Chapter 10. I'm sorry this took me so long to write, but the very first part I was having a bit of writer's block on. I am also a bit apprehensive, as you can tell, it uses a very strange writing technique which I hope draws the right effect. Sorry this chapter took so long again! I really do hope to have the next chapter up sooner, its most written already so stay tuned! 


	11. Chapter 11

**Title**: Wide Eyes Terrified

**Author**: Shauna/KJ

**Disclaimer**: Don't own 'em, just love 'em.

**Rating**: Putting this one up at R for themes and events.

**Author's Note**: This week is finals, the last week of classes. I wanted to get this out beforehand, I really don't know why. I had the sudden urge and was annoyed with how busy I was this semester. I wanted to write and update so much more than I have. So with luck this will be the first of the rest of the chapters. I want to finish before the summer ends. Wish me luck!

**Dedication**: I am simply dedicating this to everyone who reads and comments, because that's some dedication if you're still here reading this! You have the most patience of any people I've ever known! Congrats! This goes out to all of you who have been waiting!

* * *

Peter's eyes slid shut after the gentle creaking of the door clicking closed sounded behind him. He let his head rest forwards against Edmund's, his brother's quiet presence permeating his senses. The gentle press of Edmund's chest against his own with the shallow but slow breaths, each wisp of dark curls mingling with the soft brush of air from Edmund's lips against his neck, and a fever warmth that in this calm moment made Peter feel as though the summer had been replaced with winter, harkening him back to the nights spent a few years earlier. Peter had held Edmund then too, there before the fireplace as Edmund lay in the grips of a fever that chilled his body. Peter could feel those trembles even all these years later, though Edmund lay motionless in his arms now. Their bodies gently swayed, back and forth, slowly, a pendulum winding away the time until the clock would strike the hour; Peter remained so lost within the quiescent realms of a dream that soothed him, despite his brother's sickness. The blonde king's eyes drifted open again, a strange light making them glow in the darkness. He was uncertain of the passage of time, knowing only that some time had passed, moments seemed like ages. 

The trembling of his own limbs lessened as the adrenaline left his body, leaving him with a painful clench in his side. Peter lurched forward, eyes widening as a gasp escaped his lips. The pain flared, stealing his breath, stealing the very gasp from his lips so that they remained parted silently in shock. His hand instinctively flew to his side and he clutched it tightly, feeling the wet stickiness slowly coat his fingers through the fabric of his shirt, welling up and oozing in red tendrils. He glanced down and then quickly up at the ceiling, eyes shutting tightly as he tried to quell the sudden fire spreading through his body. Gasping through the pain, Peter gently laid Edmund down with his free arm, rising swiftly from the bed. He glanced around, almost panicking, searching for something, anything. He staggered towards the small bedside table, the oil lamp nearly crashing over when he knocked into its wooden stand. Peter caught his balance and jerked the drawer open, fingers raking through the contents, shaking with the trembles that worked through his body once more.

Small sounds of distress reached his ears and his head snapped back to the bed, body reeling from the quick motion. Edmund shifted restlessly, his weak body protesting the pain that was once more spreading through his system from the poison's aftermath. The younger Pevensie cried out just as Peter staggered back to his side. The edge of the bed pressed into his thigh as he lurched into it. The older king's hand shook violently as he brushed some dark hair from his brother's freckled face, smoothing over the lines of anguish grooved into Edmund's forehead.

"No shh…it's ok, Ed…I'm right here, I didn't leave you…shh…" His voice cracked even though his words were barely above a whisper. He glanced down at his side quickly, but a very different sound reached his ears this time. Peter looked back up, eyes locking onto the soft brown hues of his brother's – eyes that were now open. _Oh Ed…_

"Pe…'er…" Edmund moaned, his eyes rolling dizzily as he tried to pinpoint his older brother's form. The room was shifting and spinning around him, the vivid blue eyes above him going in and out of focus with a sickening whirl. His weakened lungs tried to respond to this distress, hoping to force in air that was so desperately needed-but none would come. He panicked, heart thundering in his chest; Edmund cried out softly again, the sound mixing with his gasps.

Peter watched his brother's breathing quicken, his own heartbeat quickening with apprehension. The faster pulse in his veins sent fresh waves of blood across his hand and he leaned further into the edge of the bed. _ No Ed, no you can't… panic…I can't…you can't…I…no…_ Peter brushed his hand through Edmund's raven-dark hair again and down to his cheek; Edmund leaned into the contact, eyes spinning as he tried again to focus on Peter. Peter smiled as best he could, trying to focus completely on his brother, trying to ignore the steady weakening of his body. He leaned down gingerly as vertigo crashed into him and rested his forehead against Edmund's. Blonde hair mixed with brown that fell across equally pale faces.

"Shh…Ed, I'm right here…I need you to calm down for me. Just breathe for me, breathe that's it…" He gulped, another wave of pain crashing into him; he leaned more heavily against the bed.

Edmund glanced up at his brother, eyes locked to the baby blues above him. Everything hurt. His mind was reeling. He couldn't _breathe_. What was going on? He could hear Peter's soft voice, piercing gently through the haze that clouded his mind. _I'm right here…I need you to calm down…just breathe for me…_ And Edmund forced himself to take a long breath, his body slightly registering the intake of air.

Peter felt his brother's back arch, his lungs drawing in a deeper breath. Peter smiled, allowing the relief to shine through his eyes and into Edmund's. Another wave of pain crashed through him and his forehead slipped from his brother's, head hitting the bed next to Edmund's as he cried out quietly. He staggered upright, breathing heavily, eyes still focused intently on his brother. His fingers squeezed into the mess at his side, his tunic saturated now, dripping from the hem to the floor as Peter squeezed the blood like juice from a lemon. Edmund's breathing was calming, his eyes glassy but clear; he slowly rolled his head against the pillow, following Peter's movements. Once more Peter smiled through the pain, eyes soft, _painfully soft_. Edmund's hand slowly reached out, slim fingers searching weakly for Peter's, sensing something was wrong. His fingers hovered in midair, curled slightly, a silent plea held up only by his arm resting against the bed.

Peter pulled his hand off the bed, using his last remaining strength to stand without any support. He gently grasped his younger brother's hand, his only brother's hand, entwining their fingers as darkness entwined with the edges of his vision. The room spun around him; he felt weightless, he felt _nothing _- and he saw nothing as the floor reached out to him.

Edmund cried out softly as his brother fell soundlessly to the floor, fingers sliding from his own with horrifying ease.

"Peter!" His voice was barely above a whisper. He instinctively tried to get up; pain flared through his limbs and he fell back to the bed with a harsh gasp. He glanced at the door through pain-clouded browns, but there was no light peeking through its cracks. They were shut into their own world of darkness. Determined, Edmund weakly pushed himself to the edge of the bed, frail body perched precariously, once more crying out quietly for his brother as he teetered on the edge.

He fell to the floor, pain invading his senses and rendering him breathless. The Just King lay on his side for a few moments, facing his brother, pleading with his eyes, the rest of his body seized with pain. Slowly, so slowly, he rolled onto his stomach. His fingers curved and dug into the carpet-covered stone floor, feeling the uneven grooves through the thick layers. He crawled the last few inches to Peter's side and collapsed against his brother's chest, body heaving with the exertion. Slender fingers feebly clutched the wine-dark shirt and he called out again, mouth moving against the fabric just below his brother's shoulder where his cheek rested.

"Pe...ter!" Again it was barely more than a whisper. Edmund wheezed, eyes squeezing shut in shame and frustration at the frailty of his own voice. Everything was spinning; he did not know what was happening, what had happened. Slowly he raised his head, gathering as much strength as he could muster, staring at the blurred form of the door.

"Susan!" He cried again, voice barely reaching his ears, there was a roaring sound, washing up and crashing over him, blocking all sounds, even his own gasps, but he kept calling, not knowing if any sounds escaped his lips. "Lucy!...Susan!…" His head fell back to his brother's chest, shoulders shaking as he sobbed. "Someone…anyone…Su…help…please….help…….Lu…help….please…"

But no one came; the door did not open; the light from the corridor beyond did not shine through; and Edmund could do nothing but gasp into the tunic of his brother - a golden body laying limply on the floor; those bright blue eyes that always watched over Edmund now were hidden, and his face was turned away from the dark-haired teen lying broken upon the ground.

* * *

Well, there you have it. Again, I'll try to put up more much more quickly. I want to finish this fic before the end of the summer and it actually has a way to go. So wish me luck! (And you might want to wish the boys luck too...) Oh, and please review, even if its just to tell me you are still reading. I know its been so long, I don't know if anyone even remembers this fic! Thanks!  



	12. Chapter 12

**Title**: Wide Eyes Terrified

**Author**: Shauna/KJ

**Disclaimer**: Don't own 'em, just love 'em.

**Rating**: Putting this one up at R for themes and events.

**Author's Note**: I've actually been writing this one, despite finals, flying home for the summer and tagging nearly 40 hour work weeks, I was writing this one. I kept flip-flopping on how I wanted to write it. But I can't go back now. Sorry for the wait! Blame my ambivalence! I had no beta. All mistakes are mine own, and I chose not to have someone beta so that I could post it up sooner for all those who have been waiting for my sorry slow butt to post this. So here you go. Don't kill me for grammar.

**Dedication**: Sub, Sub, and Sub. And a shoutout to 'stina, whom I hope will not kill me now. And Alyssa, because I hope this was some good Peter!pain for her. :) Everyone who has reviewed thus far, I haven't said this before, but you guys are awesome. I never expected this volume of readers, especially with how slow I am in writing it. You all rock my world. I couldn't do this without you. Thank you so much for sticking with me. And now, enough of my rambling. :)

* * *

Susan burst into the room breathlessly, eyes quickly adjusting to the dim light. She glanced down, immediately catching sight of the two figures lying on the floor next to the bed. Her eyes widened in disbelief. 

"Edmund! Peter!"

Lucy skidded to a halt next to her, crying out in shock before running back into the hallway, screaming for help.

Susan ran over to her brothers, grabbing Edmund tightly to her. Her younger brother, though he was now taller than her by almost a head, seemed so small, so fragile, his shoulders shaking as he sobbed. She rocked him back and forth, trying to console him.

"Shh, it's all right, Edmund. We're here-LUCY, HURRY!- Shh, Edmund shh…." Lucy flew back through the door, Oreius following closely behind her. She propped the door open, allowing light to flood the darkened room. The light fell partially upon the three figures next to the bed. Orieus' eyes widened, the staunch centaur's shoulders stiffening as he took in the scene. Susan pulled Edmund completely into her arms, standing up to place him back on the bed. Lucy's heart leapt in her throat as she watched Susan lift Edmund- he was too light, too weak, and so frail that even she was able to lift him. They needed to calm him down; she knew his body couldn't handle this strain. Lucy darted around the bed and turned up the oil lamp on the nightstand, flooding the small area with light and completely illuminating the horrors the room contained.

Peter lay slumped brokenly across the floor, blood oozing from between limp fingers, golden hair draped against his face – to Lucy he seemed a fractured angel that had finally fallen to earth. Oreius gently lifted the blonde into his arms, the High King seeming so tiny to the larger centaur. Edmund cried out, the hoarse remnants of his voice fracturing, barely reaching Susan's ears. He struggled weakly in Susan's arms as Peter was moved quickly towards the door. Susan clutched him to her in a desperate attempt to keep him safe.

"Wait! Please, just keep Peter in here." Lucy's voice wavered but she motioned to the bed, rushing to throw pillows aside. Susan's hand came up to stroke Edmund's hair. Oreius glanced at the sobbing teen wrapped firmly in his sister's arms and nodded, gently depositing his eldest monarch on Edmund's bed, before leaving to find another healer, hoping one would be close at hand. Peter began to shake violently, sweat matting his fair hair to his forehead, and he gasped unconsciously from the pain. Somewhere in the back of her mind the information registered to Lucy.

"He's not calming, Lucy!" The youngest sister turned her gaze from Peter back to Susan. Her sister brushed curls out of Edmund's eyes with shaking fingers but Edmund shook more, weak cries still escaping past his lips. The Valiant Queen stared horrified between Edmund and Peter, uncertainty stilling her. Susan cried out again.

"Lucy!" Lucy whipped her gaze back to Susan and Edmund and darted around the bed to Susan's side.

"Susan, give me Edmund!" Susan quickly transferred her younger brother to Lucy's arms. Lucy suddenly found herself with an armful of older brother as Susan rushed to Peter's side; she looked down at him, her eyes wide – and her mind fell blank. She had never, in her entire 12 years, seen her brother like this- and it terrified her. Edmund continued to whimper, body shaking violently, completely unaware of Lucy's arms holding him. Susan called her name from her spot next to Peter. She seemed to catch Lucy's shock.

"Lu, look at me. Focus Lu, look at me and listen. You have to calm Edmund down. His lungs are still too weak remember? Over-exerting himself like this could cause another attack. You HAVE to calm him down!"

Lucy stared back down at her brother, body frozen in place. Now that she had made the decision to help Edmund where Susan could not, she realized she had no idea where to start or what to do. She was always the one who was comforted; Edmund had never needed her before like this. Edmund had never let anyone (except Peter, she supposed) see him weak, especially Lucy. Lucy was not dumb; she may not completely understand her brothers, but she understood the protectiveness they felt for her. They had always sheltered her, in every possible way, and that meant always appearing strong. Besides, comforting had always been Peter's job; Peter had always known what to do, always DOES know what to do. She glanced over at Peter, blood slowly soaking the sheets below his body, and swallowed thickly. How had he been calming Edmund down all this time? She wracked her mind, picturing Peter as he soothed their youngest brother. She had only seen it once before, the image vivid in her mind. She saw his lips moving as he whispered something to Edmund, something only Edmund could hear, and then suddenly the memory twisted, and he was pouring the antidote into Edmund's mouth. Lucy gulped, eyes desperately searching for the answer, and she watched her sister as Susan tended to Peter.

Susan quickly removed Peter's tunic, gasping at the blood that coated his side, running in thick rivulets to the bed. She pressed a dry section of the shirt into the wound, trying to staunch the flow. Peter moaned beneath her touch, struggling to get away from the pain. Susan placed a hand on his sweat-soaked forehead, softly brushing golden locks from his face, his skin cold and clammy beneath her fingers. Peter was white, so white; he had lost too much blood already. He needed Lucy's cordial. She could only pray this wound contained no poison. But it was all she could do to slow the bleeding – Where was Orieus with the healers? And Lucy… Susan could hear Edmund's panting breaths starkly against the backdrop of her panic and she glanced up to see Lucy gazing over at Peter.

"Lucy, Edmund!" The Gentle Queen wrenched the youngest from her thoughts. Lucy looked back down at Edmund, realizing that his sobbing had receded into harsh gasps and his breathing had become more labored. Lucy pulled Edmund's upper body further into her arms, giving him what she hoped was something to cling to. His head was turned away from her, eyes locked on Peter's unconscious form lying next to him, just across the bed. Lucy placed her head against his, mouth next to his ear, speaking softly to him.

"Shh…it's all right, Edmund, Peter is going to be fine. You need to calm down for him. Shh…" But Edmund continue to shake, his breathing quickening with each passing moment. Lucy felt her own panic rise, but she pushed it forcefully down, focusing on her brother. Edmund's hand reached out, body starting to heave as his lungs reacted to the lack of air. Lucy felt the change, her brother's body now convulsing against her, gasping desperately. She clutched Edmund tighter, her soothing whispered words becoming more urgent. "Oh Aslan – please Edmund…please listen to me, you must calm down!"

Edmund's eyes fluttered, his vision beginning to darken around the edges, mind shutting down. Lucy glanced over at Susan, who was still frantically trying to staunch the blood seeping from Peter's side; and Edmund's body strained, his hand still reaching out. Desperate to help Edmund calm down, Lucy reacted on instinct, swiftly leaning forward. She grasped her oldest brother's hand, lying limply against the sheets, and placed it in Edmund's. Susan looked up quickly at the movement. The slender fingers entwined tightly around Peter's, falling against the sheets to rest between the brothers. The tension left Edmund's body, and his eyes fluttered again, air-starved muscles unable to support him any longer. Lucy gasped, grabbing Edmund with more strength as his body unexpectedly sagged away from her. Leaning his weight entirely against her small frame, Lucy knew that it was now or never.

"Come on Edmund, breathe for me… Peter is going to be alright, he'll be _fine_. But he won't be happy if he loses you now. You don't want to lose Peter do you? He doesn't want to lose you either, _we_ don't want to lose you. Come on Edmund, breathe…just…breathe…" And much to her relief, he did. His breaths became longer, his body gradually stopped convulsing, and finally the gasps evened out. Quite unexpectedly Edmund's head slowly turned to her, eyes locking onto Lucy's own blue-green irises. She gasped, smiling down at him, fighting back her tears from the look of utter defeat she saw reflected there. Recognition briefly flared through the deep brown irises, even as they fluttered again.

"Lu…cy…" The two broken syllables were no more than breathed out before Edmund's eyelids dropped completely as his exhaustion overwhelmed him. Lucy glanced down at her brother as he went limp against her, his head coming to rest just below her shoulder. And Lucy was totally undone. Her tears fell then, the bright droplets soaking Edmund's shirt as her head fell to rest against Edmund's neck. She could hardly believe that the young teen in her arms was the tall, slender, sarcastic brother she knew so well. Was it only a week ago that both her brother's were sitting with them at the table, Edmund's dark eyes dancing, mouth quirked upwards with his ever present smirk, and Peter's smile lighting up the table, golden laughter ringing clearly around the room? Susan's voice cut through her reminiscent reverie, the worry lacing Susan's voice causing Lucy to look up quickly, though she still clutched Edmund to her.

"Lucy, he needs your cordial. I can only slow the bleeding and he might not have time for the healers." Susan pressed against Peter's side only to pull back and search for another cloth to replace the blood-soaked one in her hand. She finally settled on the blanket at the end of the bed, bundling it up. She placed her hand on Peter's chest to hold him down, trying not to dwell on how erratic his breathing felt beneath her fingers. She pressed the blanket to his side, looking up worriedly to Lucy, but Lucy was already moving. She slowly lay Edmund down, careful not to break his contact with Peter and stood up. She dashed out of the room, tiny feet pattering against the stones and receding down the corridor. She returned moments later, breathing heavily. The youngest Queen clamored onto the bed, unscrewing the cordial. Susan let her hand fall from Peter's chest and tilted Peter's head up so that the liquid would go down. One drop passed Peter's lips, still parted and gasping with pain. Blood trickled down from the corner and Lucy absently wiped it away with her thumb, both watching Peter anxiously. He breathed in three hitching breaths and then went still.

Susan quickly pulled the blanket from Peter's side, watching the wound close up and the seal over, nothing left but blood to remind them of what once was. Lucy ran a shaking hand through her hair, brushing it out of her face. "He's lost too much blood, Su. The cordial will not replace that." Susan did not take her eyes off of Peter until she found his breathing, found the soft rise and fall of his chest. She turned to Lucy and pulled her sister into her arms, kissing her hair. Lucy held onto Susan's dress, the both of them gripping silently to the other as on the bed before them their brothers lay equally still.

Finally it was Lucy who moved first. She shifted from Susan's embrace and reached for the bloodied blanket. Still they needed no words as the two sisters cleaned up the blood themselves; tonight was not a night for servants.

* * *

Well, there you have it. It's not one of my best chapters, but I think it's what needed to happen. I will ask that you guys give me some time to write the next one, as it is a big part and I want to be absolutely certain I know what I'm doing before I dive off the deep end. :) Thank you all for reading if you got this far. I haven't forgotten this story! (Nor will some people let me. I promise). 


	13. Chapter 13

**Title**: Wide Eyes Terrified

**Author**: Shauna/KJ

**Disclaimer**: Don't own 'em, just love 'em.

**Rating**: Putting this one up at R for themes and events.

**Author's Note**: So, I was just reading one of my favorite Narnia stories, and realized how absolutely pissed I am that the author hasn't updated since 2006. And I want to yell at the author rather badly, but then I realized that I'm not exactly one to talk, eh? So I finished reading, slapped myself around and said "It's time for you to stop procrastinating and worrying and write this damn chapter!" And so, here it is. I'm posting it now, with all of its typos and inconsistencies before I can go back and edit until I'm old and decrepit. If anyone out there still reads this, you're awesome and way too patient for your own good. So here it is. Not much, but hopefully enough to get me started again! There's really not far to go with this story. Amazing, it might be the first multi-chapter story I finish. Really, thanks to everyone who is still sticking around and dealing with my lazy bum. Love you.

* * *

Susan pulled the large, overstuffed armchair over next to the bed as Lucy deposited the last of the soiled clothes and bedding in a large basket outside of Edmund's chambers. The two sisters worked in silence, slowly re-purifying the space around their brothers. Sometimes one or the other would stop to make sure Edmund's breathing was still even, or that Peter was breathing at all. But the two kings remained still on the bed, no change, no movement. A polite knock sounded upon the door, but one that still held urgency. 

"Majesties, I have brought a healer," Orieus called through the door, worried for his Kings. When he had left King Peter was still in grave condition. Susan opened the door, nodding to Orieus and the healer, whom she could see was a female centaur, hair a bit disheveled from dashing. Susan swept an elegant hand before her, motioning them into the room.

"Please, if you would check King Edmund. King Peter has been given a drop of the cordial," she said this more to Orieus, "and should hopefully wake up soon." She left the unspoken meaning beneath her words for Orieus' sharp ears to hear. The centaur healer clopped into the room, nodding and quickly moving over towards the bed as Lucy directed her. "Lucy, I'll be just outside for a moment," Susan called gently to her sister. Lucy nodded, bending over Edmund with the healer as Susan stepped outside to speak with Orieus.

"My Queen," Orieus spoke, bowing to Susan. Susan stepped forwards, placing a hand upon his arm.

"General Orieus, I ask now for your help. With King Peter and King Edmund in such a condition, I fear to think what would happen should word get out, particularly to our...not so friendly, allies." Orieus nodded and Susan continued. "I would wish you to work with those in Edmund's security detail. We cannot let word escape. I am loathing to lie," Susan wrung her hands before her, pacing, almost thinking out loud. "Please, see to it that proper circumstances be...fabricated. I'll return to my post in the morning. Keep our foreign diplomats under careful watch.Ambassadors Sirien and Hindor are here from Archenland, as are the Ambassadors from Calormen. Keep a careful eye without arousing suspicion."

Orieus stepped forwards, placing a hand on Susan's shoulder, his look less of a General and more of a friend. "Peace, my Queen. My Majesties will be safe. You may trust in me." Susan looked up to Orieus, giving him a grateful smile. Orieus pulled his hand back and bowed to her, the General once more in place when he straightened again. "I shall see it done, Queen Susan. Narnia shall continue to operate smoothly, despite the recent events. You have my word."

"Thank you, General. Thank you." Susan looked around before turning back to Orieus. She nodded. "I must away to my family." They bid farewell and Susan stepped back into the room. The oil lamp on the bed stand cast a warm glow across the room, highlighting her brothers' features as they lay, just as she'd last seen them. Lucy turned and reached out for Susan's hand. The older Queen took it and stepped forwards next to Lucy next to the healer, all three standing next to Edmund.

"Ghrendenan says that Edmund's lungs are badly injured," Lucy said quietly, her voice steady, but Susan could hear the unmistakable quaver beneath it. "And that it is not something the cordial can heal." Ghrendenan turned from where she was still bent over Edmund, looking to Susan and Lucy. She quickly ducked her head in respect to them.

"Forgive me, Majesties. The poison used on our King Edmund was somehow made using the same fireflower that creates your cordial, Milady." She looked to Lucy. "It is why your cordial did not work, and cannot work now. He will need careful treatment." She moved to the bed stand, pulling out different items. "He should abstain from great physical activity. He must slowly work up to it. There is still a chance at this point that his lungs will fail." She stopped and turned to look at them, eyes sad. "But with meticulous care and these," she moved over to them and presented Lucy with two small vials and Susan with a pouch, "he should return to almost full health."

"Almost?" Susan questioned, her sharp ears instantly catching the word. Ghrendenan looked up to Susan, nodding and bowing.

"Forgive me, my Queen, but his lungs will never return to their full capacity. I do not believe it will be a serious detriment, but he will be more prone to respiratory ailments and shortness of breath caused by anxiety, should it happen." She motioned to the pouch. "This is for such occasions. It should help to calm his breathing and allow his lungs to resettle."

"Are you saying he might not be able to fight, or run, or other physical activities?" Lucy asked instantly, her eyes worried. The kindly centaur turned the younger Queen and quickly bowed her head respectfully again.

"Oh no, My Queen! Forgive me, but the healing process will be long and slow. When he has recovered, he should be able to return to full activity, with the warning that his lungs are no longer as infallible as they once were." Lucy breathed a sigh of relief, closing her eyes and squeezing Susan's hand tightly. Ghrendenan looked sadly between them both before quickly dropping her eyes.

"The prognosis is optimistic, Majesties, but the healing shall be slow." She motioned to the items she had given them, giving both a full account of what must be done to help Edmund return to full health. Lucy and Susan listened intently until the very end.

"Ghrendenan." The faun healer turned around and bowed to Susan from the door. Susan stepped towards her. "I would ask that all of this remain between us, General Orieus and King Peter." Ghrendenan nodded instantly.

"Of course, My Queen, of course. I would not wish any harm to come to my Kings. Of course." Susan smiled as the centaur healer bowed to them once more and moved towards the door.

"Oh, and Ghrendenan?" Again the healer turned. Susan squeezed Lucy's hand as Lucy smiled.

"Thank you." The words brought such a smile of relief to the healer's face, her eyes lighting up before she blushed at such a declaration from her Queens. "Thank you, My Queens. Thank you, thank you."

Susan turned to Lucy as the door shut, pulling her younger sister into a tight hug.

"Come on, Lucy..." She gently ushered her over to the big comfy armchair and sat down, pulling Lucy in to rest with her in her arms. Lucy laid her head on Susan's shoulder, the two queens watching their brothers silently, the flickering of the oil lamp the only movement in the room.

* * *

Peter cried out, curling in on himself, trying to shield his head with his arms. His legs kicked, lashing out at the unyielding darkness, pushing away from the obsidian blackness crushing towards him. 

_Peter watched almost in slow motion as the glass fell and shattered. He jumped at the noise, time seeming to start again, and fear gripped his heart in its icy claw as Edmund fell to his hands and knees. He swiftly dropped beside his brother; clutching Edmund tightly to his chest. Deep wracking coughs shook his brother's body with no signs of subsiding. The world seemed to spiral, or at least Peter's did; it narrowed into one single point, a point he could not seem to reach._

"Ed, no! Please!" Peter begged, squeezing his eyes shut against the barrage of memories. The shattered glass stared up at him, each broken piece reflecting his brother's gasping form.

_"How could you?" Edmund whispered, blood dripping steadily from his mouth as he spoke. "Is this love?"_

Peter cried out hoarsely, his entire body shaking in the darkness that surrounded him, struggling to break free from the weighted chains of love and despair.

_Edmund's entire body went taught, completely rigid, bow shaped lips opened in a silent gasp- and his eyes, closed in unconsciousness, suddenly opened wide. There was no recognition in the dark irises, only shock and pain. He arched his back, painfully high, and screamed. He screamed for what seemed like ages, eyes eventually shutting tightly, as he screamed from the very core of his being. Tears began leaking unbidden from the corners of his eyes, sliding down his face._

Peter choked on his breath, Edmund's scream piercing through him, as though it were the very breath of his lungs or the beating flesh within his breast. He threw his arms out, wrapping them around the figure only his mind could see before him, feverish, suddenly holding him in front of the fire of two winters past, steadfastly willing the chills to leave his brother's body. But the scene changed once more, swirling and shifting around the Kings, now no more than two brothers, just two brothers.

_Edmund's body trembled in Peter's arms and Peter could feel the erratic rhythm of his brother's lungs. Edmund's neck was arching against his shoulder, the dark hair brushing against Peter's in a twisted display of affection. Peter wrapped his other arm around Edmund's stomach, gently clasping his brother's hand in silent comfort._

"Please, I'm here..." Peter gasped, rising to his knees, a hope kindling in his eyes. "Midnight devil, I'm here...please..." He recoiled, curling in on himself with a cry as though hit. "No...no, please...I love him...I love him...I would never hurt him!"

"_You sure you don't mind me drinking this?" Edmund asked, glancing at his brother. Peter nodded._

"_It's not as though I were about to drink it, so you might as well."_

"No, no don't drink it...don't drink it, Ed! ED!" Peter screamed, pushing against the fluid darkness that curled him into its cold clutches, ever molding to his body, always there, always fully connected to his skin, slithering across his form.

_And Edmund continued to gasp for air that didn't come, mouth open, body rigid, eyes wide, completely terrified. And then his hand, still entwined with Peter's, squeezed tightly, before his eyes rolled back, and he collapsed to his bed._

You're frightened. You're frightened because this time you can't protect him. It's not like a sword wound, no, this is something different, and you don't know what it is. Your brother is slowly dying and there is nothing you can do to save him. You can't protect him and that frightens you more than anything else.

_Peter watched almost in slow motion as Edmund fell limply away from him. There was such finality in such a graceful fall, and it scared him beyond anything else._

_"Ed!" he screamed once more into the completely still room. But Edmund did not respond, and he would not respond, because he could not respond._

You're frightened. You're frightened because this time you can't protect him. It's not like a sword wound, no, this is something different, and you don't know what it is. Your brother is slowly dying and there is nothing you can do to save him. You can't protect him and that frightens you more than anything else. No, it's not like a sword wound. No, this is something different. And you don't know what it is. Yes, yes you do. It's you. It's your love. It's because you love him. Your brother is dying because you love him.

Simply because you love him.

_Dorjan leered down at Peter, a wild light in his eyes. "Letting your brother take the hit for you. You are a monster and a coward. You murder children. You have murdered your own brother." He pressed the bloody knife into Peter's hands, motioning to the still form lying in Peter's arms. "Go ahead, end his suffering. End his suffering, the suffering that you have caused."_

Peter cried out desperately, thrashing to escape, but the darkness held him, bound him, chained and shackled him to his own torment. "NO!"

_Peter gasped, looking to the knife now held firmly in his hand, his brother cradled close. A flash of light, ice, mid-summer's ice, all around him, closing over his body, molding across his skin, sealing him inside its frigid tomb. "I love him...I love him, no! No, I love him! I love him! NO!" He drove the knife downwards._

"NO!"

* * *

Peter shot up, the scream of white terror upon his lips. He clutched his chest, the bloodied remnants of his shirt no longer there but now a clean, white nightshirt in its place. All had been cleaned. But not Peter. Not his soul, not his deed. Peter sobbed harshly, body convulsing forwards with each gasp of pain that fell past his lips. "Ed...Ed..." His brother's name was a mantra upon his tongue, forming the syllables of his agony. He threw himself out of bed and staggered backwards, trying to catch his balance with his emotions. 

"No...no..." he cried, dashing towards the door. He tripped over the carpet, face to face with the still pervasive smell of blood that assailed his senses. He staggered up with another cry, staring in horror at the bed, yet another cry escaping him. Edmund. Edmund was there. No...Edmund was dead, he was dead. So pale, he wasn't breathing, he couldn't see him breathing. He'd done this. He'd killed him. He choked on his breath, eyes widening in terror as Edmund's eyes fluttered open, looking over to him. "Why?" the corpse whispered. "Why?" Peter hit the wall, grabbing onto his head, trying to block out the nightmare.

"I'm sorry! I'm sorry!" He wished he could prove his love. He'd only ever loved Edmund, loved his family. "I love you! I love you! I'm sorry! Forgive me!" He turned and wrenched open the door, dashing from the room. His frantic footsteps had receded before the door had slammed shut. And upon the bed, Edmund's eyes opened further, his lips moving for the first time as he cried out silently for his brother, terror and confusion reflected in his own brown depths.

* * *

Well, there you have it. I'm thinking we really have two or three more chapters left. Amazing how far this has come. Thanks for reading! It makes my day to know that I made someone happy. I hope I do! 


	14. Chapter 14

**Title**: Wide Eyes Terrified

**Author**: Shauna/KJ

**Disclaimer**: Don't own 'em, just love 'em.

**Rating**: Putting this one up at R for themes and events.

**Author's Note**: Well, since this unlucky American decided to be in the UK until June 13th, I have the singular pleasure of not being able to participate in the new Caspian craze that's currently sweeping the fandom! But, I know a few of you have been waiting for this chapter, and so, after two huge papers, a four week vacation with no internet, another 46 page paper, and finally an exam, I present to you, chapter 14! This has not been beta'ed, I'm sorry to say. So all the typos are mine! But I hope that this long awaited chapter is up to par!

* * *

_Edmund strode up out of the surf and up the beach, his hair sodden and dripping down into his face. He turned and stood just before the sandbank, grabbing his tunic and wringing it, watching a rather large puddle form in the dry sand. The Just King did not look up as he felt another presence next to him.  
_

_"Shall we say that you officially have you no seafaring skills?" His voice was dry as he arched his eyebrow, glancing up. Peter pawed equally sodden blonde bangs out of his eyes, wiping at the droplets of water on his face.  
_

_"I? Singular? You were the one at the tiller." Edmund made a face up to the sky, as though asking for patience and Peter lightly smacked his arm. "Don't give me that look." Edmund could not help but laugh._

"You? I was giving that look to whatever fates had made me think it was smart to take a boating trip with you." This time Peter could not help but smirk.

"Sheer dumb luck on your part if you ask me. Come on." He turned and made his way back to the shoreline, starting to pull their little boat, the Marooned Badger up and out of the tide so it wouldn't be washed away. The slender, dark-haired King followed his brother down and together they pulled her safely out of the surf. Edmund wrinkled his nose as he stared at the hole starboard aft where they'd missed the rocks coming around this bend. He looked up to the sky again, noting the position of the sun as it continued to sink lower on the horizon.

"Well, guess that's it for now." He reached in and pulled out the remainder of their food, testing how wet it was. It would survive. "Nothing we can do till tomorrow. You get to explain to the girls when we get back." Peter looked over to his brother, shock in his sky-blue eyes.

"How now, little brother?" The High King's lips curled up into a small smile. "And considering how good I am at leaving Cair Paravel unnoticed, do you really think they'll blame me alone?" Edmund seemed to wrinkle his nose at this and turned with the bag of supplies, moving further up onto the beach to dry out what they could. Peter just chuckled and followed his brother. Edmund set the pack down and reached up, pulling his tunic and undershirt off before he separated them and laid them out flat, hoping to dry them while the sun was still out and warmth hung in the air.

"I suppose it is an art, isn't it?" the younger of the two asked after a few moments, looking up from where he was laying out the contents of the bag to dry, a faint smirk on his face. Peter glanced over from his seated position next to Edmund, his boot halfway unlaced.

"What's an art?"He knew that Edmund had been waiting for the invitation that question brought. Edmund just grinned and looked back down, setting out the water skins to dry the outsides.

"Getting out of Paravel unnoticed. We did it today and you're right, you have about as much talent at leaving unnoticed as a centaur in Beaversdam." Peter gave his brother a look, mock-affronted.

"I am not that bad! At least I can fit inside Cair Paravel! Orieus would not fit inside Beaversdam!" Edmund just smirked, casting his brother a glance.

"Exactly why they would have no talent at leaving unnoticed." Peter just rolled his eyes and threw some sand at Edmund's back as the Just King laughed. He shifted around and came to sit next to Peter, their tunics and boots laid out next to them with the food spread out just above. Edmund brought his feet up and rested his forearms on his knees, looking out casually over the water, mirroring Peter's position next to him. Peter looked over to his brother after a few moments of silence.

"How do you do it then?" Edmund turned his gaze from the water to Peter. "I mean, how do you get in and out of Cair Paravel unnoticed? You're either awfully talented, or you don't actually leave unnoticed at all, and just pretend to." A small smile tugged at the corner of Peter's lips, but Edmund returned it with a smirk of his own.

"Oh, I have my ways, Peter. I'm head of our security. If I don't know everything about Cair Paravel that needs to be known, we're in a sorry state indeed, wouldn't you think?" Peter chuckled, shaking his head. A faint breeze coming off the sea ruffled their hair, sending a few scattered blonde locks into Peter's eyes, which he brushed away idly.

"Care to tell your dear older brother some of these ways then?" Edmund arched his eyebrow, turning his gaze back over the waves. His voice was completely serious and only the twinkle in his eye belied his words.

"I would, but I am not so certain I have a dear older brother. Older brother, yes. But not dear. Never dear." Peter lightly poked Edmund in the ribs and the other was unable to stop a small smirk at that before he laughed softly.

"We used one of them today, Peter. How do you think we got out of the castle unnoticed this time? Just take that small wicker gate in the eastern wall. If you can get down the beach unnoticed, then just use the surf and it'll wash out your tracks." Peter seemed to take this in with mild surprise, but understanding as well. Edmund was certainly the best at what he did.

"I hadn't even known that gate existed until you showed it to me. It's hidden all the way behind the south-eastern corner! Shouldn't that gate be guarded?" Edmund smiled again, dark eyes twinkling with confidence and self-assurance.

"It is. By me." He turned his gaze to Peter once more, fingers tracing idly through the sand as they hung down from his knees. "I have my ways of knowing whether it's been used or not. No one else knows about it. Well, except for you now, but I don't think you'll be going off to tell all of Cair Paravel." He smiled, the sun highlighting his freckled cheekbones, accentuating the angles of his face. "The moment I find out someone else has been using it though, it'll have to go on permanent guard, rather than just my own."  
_  
Peter seemed to take all of this in stride and did not seem all that worried to hear that there was an entrance to Cair Paravel left unguarded. Well, unguarded save for by one. He reached underneath Edmund's knee and drew two dots and a line in the sand of Edmund's tracings, making one of them into a face. Out in the waves there was a faint splash as the fins of two mermaids disappeared back beneath them. The sun was beginning to sink lower behind them, sending their shadows forwards across the sand._

"You know they'll turn Cair Paravel inside out when they find us both missing right?" he finally asked with a small smile. Edmund looked over to Peter from the corner of his eyes, dark brown eyes peering out from beneath a fringe of even darker bangs.

"Well, if you hadn't actually marooned the Marooned Badger, we would have been back before they could." Peter just laughed and pushed Edmund's knee, swaying his brother to the side.

"Oh sod off!" Edmund pushed back against Peter, sending his brother swaying to the side, laughter bubbling up from his own lips.

"It's true! You're the one who was at the tiller!"

"Well you were the one navigating! Couldn't even navigate us around those rocks?"

"They were around the bend! And you were distracting me with that awful singing of yours!"

"I wasn't singing! I was humming!"

"Same difference, it was still horrible!"

"Why you! Get back here!" Peter jumped quickly to his feet, taking off after his nimble-footed brother, who laughed and flew down the beach, spraying sand up behind him as he ran from Peter.

"Peter can't sing!"

"I wasn't trying to sing! You can't sing either!"

"Yes I can!"

"You sound like a giant with a head cold when you sing!"

"And I still sound better than you!"

Edmund turned around and dodged Peter's swipe at him, grinning deviously as he bounded backwards, facing his brother now. Peter possessed more of the brute strength, but what Edmund lacked he made up for with agility. Peter was trying to keep a straight face, his own eyes twinkling as he lunged for Edmund again. His brother jumped backwards, laughing and ducking around behind Peter.

"Come on, Peter, don't be lazy now. Come and get me!" Peter whirled around and dashed for his brother again as Edmund darted away, his laughter ringing out across the shore. If there was one thing he loved to do, this was it. No one could bait Peter like he could.

"Ed, you skinny sod, get back here!"

"Skinny sod! You doddering old fool!"

"Annoying git!"

"Temperamental lummox!"

Edmund turned around to grin at Peter again, nearly tripping over their food in the process. He stumbled quickly sideways to keep the sand from it. Peter lunged forwards and tackled Edmund to the ground in the split second and Edmund laughed, grappling with his brother, sand clinging to their now dry backs and a sheen of sweat from the heat of the setting sun.

"At least I'm not short like you, baby brother!"

"Baby! I'll give you baby! I'm 16!"

"And still shorter and younger than me! Baby brother!"

"Why you! Old man!"

"Old! I'm only three years older than you!"__

"But you don't have my dashingly good looks, therefore you're old! Old man!"

"Ed!" Edmund just laughed, both of them vying for dominance in their wrestling match and the argument. Just as he pinned Peter the blonde reversed their positions again, laughter on Peter's lips as well.

"You're losing to an old man, how does that make you feel?"

"Sod off! You can't beat me! I'm Edmund the Mighty!"

"Edmund the Mighty Loser is more like it. The only thing you can beat is yourself!"

"Which is a hell of a lot more than you can beat, Peter!"

The two brothers wrestled on the beach until Edmund's hair had been bleached by the sand that clung to his dark curls and Peter's sandy blonde locks became more sand than hair. Peter finally managed to pin Edmund, but not without a great deal of effort and endurance of many insults as well. They lay side by side, catching their breath as the sun dipped lower. Edmund finally spoke first, laughter still lighting up his pale face.

"Think we should move ourselves to some shelter?" Peter squinted up at the sky, as though actually thinking about it before he chuckled and nodded, sitting up. He flicked his hands over his hair, sending sand flying everywhere before he turned and held his hand out to Edmund. Edmund took the hand and jumped nimbly to his feet, reaching for their tunics. The sun would be gone in less than an hour, though colours cascaded across the sky, streaking blues and purples in a brilliant array that reflected off the water as they put on their tunics and packed their things back into the bags. Peter took one more look at the Marooned Badger, standing next to Edmund. He made a face, turning to his brother, who matched the look.

"They're going to kill us."

* * *

"General Orieus, I want King Peter found immediately." Queen Susan stood up from her throne, moving quickly down to the General's side and out onto one of the private balconies. "Send out one of the Gryphon Wing and the Elite contingent. I want him found before nightfall." Orieus dropped into a centaur's bow quickly, arm coming up over his chest.

"It is as you say, Majesty. What would you wish to be the punishment for those who allowed him to leave?" Susan shook her head, rubbing her temples.

"I will leave that reprimanding to you, General Orieus. King Peter's safety comes first. Just because he has been given Lucy's cordial does not mean that he should be up and about so soon, much less leaving Cair Paravel without forewarning. I want him found, General. You may go." Orieus bowed again and stepped back towards the door leading into the throne room.

"Majesty, if I may be so bold- High King Peter is not one to leave so suddenly unless it were a truly urgent matter." Susan turned to face Orieus, her eyes more vulnerable now, not a Queen for her King, but a sister for her brother.

"I know, General Orieus," she said softly. "That is what worries me so."

* * *

Lucy walked quickly back through the halls of Cair Paravel, her skirts flying about her ankles. She had been the first to discover that Peter was gone but Susan had insisted that she return to Edmund's side. Her sea-green eyes were filled with worry. They'd searched everywhere in Cair Paravel, but Peter was nowhere to be found. After everything that had happened, Lucy knew that the last place Peter should be was outside the safety of Cair Paravel's walls and she knew that it was the last place Peter would go. She flipped the latch on the door to Edmund's room, nodding an acknowledgment to the guards stationed on either side of the door before she entered into the dimly lit room.

"Edmund!" Lucy dashed over to Edmund's side, shock in her eyes at finding her older brother not only awake but trying to get up. "No no, Edmund! You mustn't! You mustn't, Edmund!"

Edmund's face was completely drained of all colour in the effort to sit up, breathing heavily through his nose as he struggled upright. Lucy reached out and placed her hands on his shoulders, pushing him back down to the bed. It took almost no effort at all and Edmund fell back to the sheets unwillingly.

"Lu…Lucy…where's…where's Peter?" he managed to gasp, turning wide, desperate eyes up to her. Lucy shook her head, trying to keep herself calm. But she always wore her heart on her sleeve; it was not hard for Edmund to read her emotions, even in his weakened state.

"We're going to find him, Edmund. Just rest. Please, don't get up, please…" Worry, fear, and perhaps annoyance filled Edmund's eyes and he once more tried to struggle upright, chest heaving from the effort of what would normally be a simple action. Sweat matted his dark curls to his forehead and Lucy looked ready to cry as she reached out again. Grendenan's words echoed in her mind, over and over.

"Edmund, please! You mustn't get up!" Edmund struggled against her grip, slender fingers clenching into the sheets.

"Have…Have to…Peter…Pe-…-ter…" His words became more broken, replaced by heavier breathing, choked syllables. A few tears fell from Lucy's eyes as Edmund fell back to the bed, his back arching in shock and surprise, lips parted as he gasped for air.

"No, no, Edmund, no!" Lucy grabbed for the vials that Grendenan had given to her earlier, quickly uncapping one. Wide-eyed terror shone in her eyes as she held it over Edmund's parted lips, much as she would her cordial, tipping one drop into his mouth. Edmund's eyes fluttered and he swallowed reflexively, turning dark and dulling eyes towards Lucy. Lucy clambered up onto the bed and pulled Edmund's upper body up in her arms with a surprisingly strong grip. Her brother was so much taller than she was; he did not fit in her arms as he fit in Peter's. But it did not stop her, white-hot terror chilling her veins as Edmund continued to gasp, his head slipping back on her shoulder. Lucy held him with one arm, her other massaging over Edmund's chest with careful, precise motions. Her hands were shaking but she kept her motions steady, trying to loosen Edmund's diaphragm and relax him, help him to breathe again.

"Breathe, Edmund, breathe," she said quietly, but there was a hint of pleading in her voice. It was too soon. Edmund shouldn't have been moving. His lungs could still fail. They were failing. He was too weak. What if he didn't make it? What if he stopped breathing? Lucy choked back a sob of terror, clutching her brother closer, wishing desperately that Peter were here. No. She was strong, she could do this. She would not let her brother leave because of his stubborn foolishness! Her fingers stopped shaking as badly as they rubbed circles over Edmund's chest, her lips near his ear as his head lay on her shoulder.

"Breathe, Edmund. You have to breathe. You have to breathe for me. For Peter. For Su. For all of us." Edmund's eyes closed, the harsh gasping sounds escaping past his lips suddenly stopping. He was silent for too many moments and Lucy's eyes shot open in terror. "Edmund? Edmund!" she cried, her arm tightening around her brother. She shifted, about to move Edmund so she could see his face when Edmund drew a gasp of air into his lungs. Something seemed to click and his next breaths were easier as he began to relax underneath her hand, body sinking into hers. Lucy shifted to brace herself, taking more of Edmund's weight against her. A few stray tears leaked from her eyes, dropping onto Edmund's cheek and sliding down to her shoulder, but she did not let him go.

"Don't do that to me. To us! You can't do that, Edmund!" Lucy was speaking hurriedly, her words pushed out with the weight of her emotions, clutching her brother to her in fear. She buried her face in his neck from behind, crying softly into his shoulder. Edmund relaxed fully against her, his dulled brown eyes blinking open tiredly. He reached one hand up, shaking fingers stroking over Lucy's hair.

"I'm…sorry, Lucy…forgive…me…" he managed in a faint murmur. Lucy caught his hand and held it tightly in her own, holding her brother and just crying. She was terrified, more terrified than she ever wanted to admit. Peter was gone, Edmund was still so very sick. He could die. Peter could be dead. Her brothers. She couldn't lose her brothers. Not her wayward and loving brothers. Lucy shifted back against the headboard of the bed, pulling Edmund with her. She closed her eyes and let Edmund's presence, his shallow breathing against her hands calm her. She took several deep breaths. Susan would find Peter. She would find him and until Peter came back, she would take care of Edmund.

She did not lift her head from Edmund's shoulder, holding onto him long after her brother had succumbed to an exhausted sleep once more, lying quiescently in her arms, his chest rising and falling beneath her fingers.

* * *

_The sounds of battle blurred and slowed around Peter, his vision focused upon Aslan as the great lion suddenly appeared as though returned from death. Peter pulled the Witch's blade out of his mailed arm, quickly standing up. Aslan slowly turned and looked to him, warm brown eyes filled with acknowledgement and understanding and every emotion that Peter needed to see._

"It is finished." Peter stared over to Aslan, losing himself within the gentle reassurance that the mighty lion brought with him until a voice broke him from his thoughts.

"Peter!" Peter whirled around in time to catch Lucy against his chest with one arm, holding her so tightly against him. Susan dashed forwards, bow in her hands. She looked to her brother and sister, locking eyes with Peter.

"Where's Edmund?" Peter's eyes widened with horror and he turned his head before he stopped, his brows furrowing in confusion. He shook his head as though to clear it and turned back to his sister.

"Who?" Susan's eyes were wide and she stepped forwards.

"Edmund, Peter! Edmund! Where's Edmund?" Peter stepped back away from Susan and Lucy, staring between them both as though they had lost their minds. He could not bear the look of shocked horror in Lucy's sea-green eyes, staring up to him, filled with grief, accusing him.

"I…I don't know! Who?" Lucy was screaming something and Susan's face was filled with sadness as she curled Lucy to her. She looked up to Peter, blue eyes filled with disappointment before the two of them turned and dashed away from Peter, leaving the eldest Pevensie shocked in their wake. He turned wide eyes to the ground, staring at the blood-stained grass. A rushing sound echoed through his ears, reverberating inside his head, drumming into a heart that felt strangely empty.

"Aslan? Who are they-" he turned around, voice dying off. Aslan was nowhere to be seen.

* * *

The forest was awash with colours that faded in and out of the leaves, creating shifting patterns on the forest floor as a gentle breeze ruffled through the boughs. Peter stared up towards the sun, the light criss-crossing across his face as he stood, the blonde strands of his hair carried across his forehead by the zephyrs. Only when one errant piece decided to tickle his nose a bit too fiercely did he turn away from the sun, sneezing. He rubbed his nose, turning and peering around at the lush green clearing in which he stood. Dust motes seemed to hang lazily in the air, the forest surprisingly silent save for the wind whispering through the leaves. He stepped forwards and walked slowly through the trees, his fingers ghosting over the roughened bark. A few leaves fell from their safe havens to glide past him, settling soundlessly on the forest floor.

He froze, staring forwards suddenly into the eyes of a wolf, standing just at the crest of a small rise in the landscape. The wolf seemed to be staring back to him.

"Hello?" Peter called, watching carefully, warily. "Who are you?"

But if the wolf could speak, it did not. Her eyes remained locked on Peter's, but Peter did not feel any intent to harm, any fear. He slowly took a step forward, hands held out in from of him, but the wolf did not move. Peter slowly relaxed, his shoulders loosening as he stepped towards the wolf, a smile on his face. The wolf watched him step closer before she all at once turned and started back down the hill, much to Peter's surprise.

"Wait!" He quickly moved to catch up with her, the forest moving past his vision now as the wolf waited until he was at her side. Surprise showed even more on his face.

"Why do you not speak with me?" Surely this was one of Narnia's talking creatures, yet why did she speak with only her eyes? But the wolf said nothing, walking silently at Peter's side, though still leading Peter. Peter was grateful for her company; it did not feel so lonely out here any longer. It was peaceful to be sure, but it was missing so much life. The wolf padded silently next to him, cresting another hill. Peter looked down into the valley created by the natural earth-works of the ground, surprised to find what appeared to be the stone ruins of a building. The wolf started down the hill and Peter felt compelled to follow, not wishing to give up her silent company. The stones were worn, weathered by the elements, nurtured by nature. Some of them were covered with a plush carpet of vivid moss. He stepped beneath the remnants of a stone archway: all that remained of what was once a door.

A large expanse of wall greeted him, towering above him, majestic in its bare remains. Large arched spaces were all that remained of the windows that once hung in their place and on the adjacent wall a stone fireplace hung eerily in midair on the wall, the second story flooring no longer there. A sniffing sound settled upon his senses and he glanced back down to find the wolf sniffing around the crevices of the foundation rocks embedded in the carpet of grass. Peter climbed up onto one of the bare rock formations near the window-wall, glancing around from his higher position. The sound of flesh hitting the stone echoed and he whirled around, hand instinctively going for his blade only to find that it was no longer there. He relaxed however as another small hand hit the rocks, a young boy climbing up next to him.

"Have you met Tego?" the boy asked, peering up to Peter with large, dark brown eyes. Peter's brow furrowed in confusion.

"Tego?" The boy nodded and pointed to the she-wolf, who stopped sniffing and moved over towards the rock, bounding up and settling next to the boy, who rubbed her fur and leaned against her side.

"Tego. I didn't know what to call her. She found me and I call her Tego." The boy shrugged, looking over to Peter with a smile on his face. "Did she find you too?" Peter could not help but smile back at the youthful innocence of the boy in front of him.

"She did. I was wandering a little further south of here. What is this place?" Raven-dark curls bounced across his face as the boy shook his head again.

"I don't know." Peter looked back to the boy.

"Well, it's really beautiful whatever it is. Might I know your name?" The boy shrugged his shoulders.

"I don't know. I don't know what my name is." Peter was rather surprised by this declaration.

"You don't know your own name?" The boy shook his head again and shifted on the large stone next to Peter, knobby knees dangling over the over the side, a bright grin on his face.

"What's yours?" Peter returned the smile, opening his mouth before his smile faded into confusion.

"I…I don't know."

* * *

Well, there you have it. There's chapter 14! We are nearing towards the end! I definitely want to have this piece finished before I go home to the States! Wish me luck! I hope you all derived at least some pleasure from the chapter! If not, I didn't do my job!

Cheers!


	15. Chapter 15

Author's Note: Yes, it has been two years since I have updated this story. Since then, I have had quite a few people yelling at me, requesting that I finish. I'll admit, it was partly the new movie, and partly my need to prove I could actually finish a story that has this chapter here right now. I am not sure how many people are still reading, but if you are, I do hope you'll enjoy it. Feedback is love, but do remember, it has been two years, my writing has grown and changed (hopefully for the better) since then.

Disclaimer: Sadly, the entire world is the work of C.S. Lewis. I merely cause his characters pain and misery.

Thank you so much to all my wonderful and devoted readers. Even after two years, I still receive reviews or people favoriting me or this story. I must be doing something right. So this one is for all of you.

* * *

"I want to know every place that Dorjan stayed in Narnia. I want to know which ship brought him from the Lone Islands, I want to know everyone with whom he spoke, any and all possible supporters of the Lone Island renegade. And Aslan's mane, I want King Peter found immediately."

Susan paced in front of the four thrones, attended by Laskar the fox, her aide de camp, Orieus, and Igno, head the Gryphon wing. She refused to allow any more Narnians to find out that their High King had gone missing during the night, while their Just King continued to recover from a near-deathly assassination attempt that threatened still to unhinge the royal rule in Narnia. The citizens would be close to turmoil should word get out, and with ambassadors from the Lone Islands, Galma, and Terebinthia all in attendance at the castle, Susan knew it was absolutely imperative that the nation remain calm.

"Your Majesty, we of yet still cannot figure out how High King Peter left the castle without our knowledge," Orieus spoke up carefully, clopping forwards, hand on the hilt of one of his blades. "If we might speak with King Edmund, as head of the Security order, and King Peter's closest confidante-"

"King Edmund is still recovering. When Queen Lucy deems it fit for our brother to have visitors, you will be notified, General Orieus, on my word," Susan agreed, nodding.

"My lady, I have sent out three Gryphon scouts to the west, south, and north, but none have reported any sighting of King Peter near the castle."

Susan sighed, wringing her hands worriedly before her, but that was all the emotions she would allow to escape.

"Report back to me the moment any of your scouts return with any news. Rask, send out a detail to scour the streets. See if anyone knows anything. Ask no questions, but bring me some answers. We must find King Peter."

The three aides nodded, bowing and taking their leave of Queen Susan with her permission.

Standing alone in the middle of the throne room, the dark-haired daughter of Eve turned to face the four thrones, staring at the two to the left. Remembering what Dorjan had said to her, knowing that the man had heard her speaking to Lucy, didn't make her feel any better. And maybe she wasn't supposed to, but in the end, what she had said to Lucy was true. Peter and Edmund couldn't survive without each other. Well, Edmund might, out of sheer determination to prove he could do it, but he wouldn't be the same. And in the end, he would run himself into the ground with that same stubborn determination.

No, Peter and Edmund would not last long. Edmund was still healing, and she knew he needed Peter. Peter – only Aslan knew where he was – she was certain needed their younger brother now more than ever.

"Stupid git," she murmured, but her words were lost in the hollow emptiness of a throne room that seemed to know two of it thrones wouldn't be filled for a long, long time.

* * *

"How is he?"

Lucy looked up from the large armchair she'd set up beside Edmund's bed. When Susan finished closing the door and moved towards them, she let herself curl back into the plush cushioning, eyes on their brother.

"He's still asleep. He's trying." Lucy's voice was carefully soft, the patience of a healer who would sit up all night with their patient just for the hope of seeing a change.

Much had changed since Edmund was first poisoned, but very little for the better. The teen's face was pale, yet flushed with fever as his body fought to expel the toxins left by the poison. Her older brother had yet to wake up, and his breathing was still shaky at best, so slow that it kept Lucy awake with anxiety. Every time he exhaled, she waited and waited for him to breathe in again, but she never heard the sound. But just when she was about to leap up and make sure he was alright, he would inhale, slowly, shakily.

It did nothing to calm Lucy's racing heart, because the same thing would happen less than a minute later.

A quiet clink on the nightstand had the youngest monarch looking away from her brother again, and Susan met her gaze with a soft smile, lifting the cup and saucer off the tray she'd just set down.

"I thought you might do well with a cup of hot tea, Lucy."

The cup was warm in her hands, the tea wonderfully soothing as it slid down her throat, calming her racing heart before pooling in her belly, sending a pleasant warmth through her limbs.

Susan perched carefully on the edge of the bed, adjusting the blankets over her brother and wiping a cool cloth over his heated, freckled face, while Lucy sighed and silently sipped her tea.

"I wish he would wake up soon," the older of the two queens admitted, gazing down to her younger brother.

"It's only been half a day since Peter gave him the antidote." Lucy shifted upright and stood, wrapping one arm around her sister and pressing a kiss to the top of her dark hair, hair as dark as Edmund's.

The action surprised Susa, but she leaned against Lucy, allowing her sister to reassure her, allowing herself to find comfort in Lucy's arms. With Peter gone and Edmund sick, they had to do what they could to take care of each other. The Gentle Queen couldn't stay there for long, but she would stay long enough to make sure her brother and sister were alright, before returning to the search for Peter, returning to running the kingdom.

"He'll get better, Su. Grendenan said it would be slow, but we'll make sure he gets better."

The dark-haired queen sighed, taking Edmund's clammy hand in both of her own, even as her eyes slipped shut.

"I know, Lu. I know."

* * *

"Edmund!"

Walking back into the room to find her brother not only awake, but up and about was more than a shock for the Valiant Queen. Her older brother had time to push one more shirt into his traveling bag before Lucy pushed her shock aside.

"It's only been two days since you got medicine! You can't just get up and wander about, much less leave the castle, which is exactly what you're trying to do!" Lucy clasped the rucksack Edmund had placed on the bed and easily tugged it away from her older brother's reach. "You shouldn't even be standing! Just yesterday you couldn't even sit upright on your own!"

In Lucy's defense, Edmund looked as though he could barely stand. In Edmund's defense, not only was he sitting up, he was standing, as he had been for the past ten minutes, putting together the small travel pack before Lucy had walked in on him.

"Lucy, don't try to stop me. I know Peter is missing and I have to find him." The dark-haired king was leaning heavily against the side of his bed, obviously short of breath, but he refused to give the Valiant Queen a chance to comment on that fact, just as he refused to lie there when his brother was missing and probably needed him.

And yet it didn't take much for Lucy to put a hand on his arm and push him over onto the bed. The Just King didn't have any strength to fight even the gentle shove, and he struggled upright, breathing heavily.

"Just think about this for a second, Edmund," Lucy pleaded, quickly seating herself next to her brother, a supportive hand on his arm this time.

But Edmund quickly shrugged her hand off.

"Who are you? Susan? I have thought about it. Peter's out there because of me. I know he's not better yet, and if you could find him, you would have by now. I have to go find him myself."

"Peter wouldn't want you rushing out after him at the cost of your health!" Lucy jumped up and crossed her arms over her chest, standing in front of her brother and making it that much more difficult for Edmund to stand up. "Not after he spent so much time taking care of you!"

"Lucy, I'm fi-"

"You're not fine! You almost died, Edmund!" The youngest of the four Pevensies was full of righteous indignation, and she poked her finger hard into her brother's sternum. "You stopped breathing! If Peter hadn't hit you, you would still not be breathing! It's been weeks of watching you get worse and worse, not knowing what would help, not knowing if anything would help." There were tears in Lucy's eyes now, but she kept going, refusing to give her older brother a chance to argue. She was so happy to see him awake, but so terrified of the ramifications should Edmund overtax himself, which he was sure to do if he rode out in search of Peter.

And she knew something bad would happen, as certainly as Edmund would find a way to get to Peter.

Edmund seemed to know that he shouldn't try to speak right now. Not only was he shocked by what Lucy was saying, but Lucy so clearly needed him to be strong for her. The youngest Pevensie boy gently wrapped his arms around his sister as her righteous cries became choked with emotion.

"Alright, Lu. It's alright. I'm right here though, see? Come now, what's with the waterworks? You've got me here to terrorize you for a long time yet."

Lucy's hands had since curled into the loose white shirt Edmund wore, and even as she leaned into him, she could feel his ribs poking through the fabric, could hear the breathlessness he was trying to hide. She couldn't help remembering Susan lifting Edmund into her arms to get him back to bed. Knowing that she had been able to do that, knowing her brother was so far from alright, did very little to calm her down.

"You can't leave, Edmund. You just can't. Let Susan and me find Peter. We need you here. Peter needs you here. Please, Edmund!"

"Alright, Lu, alright. I'm right here. I won't leave. I'm right here, alright?"

The dark-haired king pressed a gentle kiss to his sister's hair, rubbing her back to try and calm her down. He wasn't Peter, he wasn't Susan, but he still loved Lucy. And he would always be sure she had someone to look after her.

Yet even as Lucy held onto her older brother, she knew, somehow, that 'right here' wasn't going to last. She'd almost lost him twice, and she couldn't bare to lose him again.

* * *

"Where did you come from?"

Peter opened his eyes, staring up at the blue skies far above him. Stray clouds puffed up the corners and the tops of the trees tickled the fringes of his vision. Behind him somewhere was the sound of small feet tapping against the crumbled stone walls of the ruined castle. Peter smiled faintly and – from where he was lying on the green green grass – tipped his head back to see the small boy hopping from stone to stone on top of the ruined wall.

"I came from the east." He pointed through the giant stone windowpane, bare but for the arches; the glass had long since broken away.

In between them, Tego snorted quietly and shifted, resting her head on her forepaws as she watched them silently with dark eyes.

The boy, whom Peter had named Thomas, turned an equally dark gaze on the blonde boy lying in the grass.

"I came from that way." He pointed in the opposite direction, towards the west, before laughing and striking a pose. "I'm the King of the West!" Jumping down off the ruins and ducking under an archway to what used to be a door, Thomas plopped down next to Peter on the grass. "Tego must like you too. She never lets anyone come near me."

Peter shifted up onto one elbow, gazing towards the she-wolf, who stared back at him with that same searching gaze she'd had when he first caught sight of her. He had to wonder exactly how many people tried to come near Thomas, but he didn't get a chance to ask.

"Maybe she thinks you can help me get home," Thomas continued, picking at a piece of grass, breaking it into tiny pieces before finding another blade, repeating the action.

"Do you know where you need to go?" Peter asked, sitting upright now, watching the dark-haired, knobbly-kneed boy with his blades of grass. Thomas shook his head, sparing one glance up at Peter.

"I have to go home."

Dusting his hands off, the boy stood up and moved over to a moss and ivy covered section of wall; motioning Peter over, he tore the ivy away, brushed the moss off the stones. Underneath, weathered into the stone, three crowns had been carved into an arch over a fourth, which had criss-crossing arrows pierced through it. Etched elegantly beneath the four crowns was a single word: 'Anderitum'. Peter frowned at the image, dimly recognizing something in the image before him, but the thought eluded him.

"I want to go home. But I can't find it." Thomas looked sadly from Peter to the image before pulling back. Ivy half-covered the carving as he turned and moved back closer to Tego.

Peter was still frowning as he followed the dark-haired, freckle-faced lad back over to his pseudo-protector, placing a hand on the boy's back.

"We'll get you home soon, Thomas. I promise."

Sad, dark eyes looked up to Peter then and he sighed, leaning against the older boy, nestling his dark head against Peter's shoulder.

"How can you bring me home when you can't even remember who I am?"

* * *

"Majesty, we still have no word on King Peter. General Orieus and Laskar have tracked down a group of Lone Island's old government supporters. They are more numerous than we expected." Igno's wings flapped once before one tucked away and the other swept out in front as he bowed formally to Queen Susan, reporting as soon as he had landed on the balcony to the throne room. The gryphon had a worry in his eyes that he tried to hide, but as a messenger, hiding had never been his forte.

And Susan did not need her sister's intuitiveness to see it. The Gentle Queen pressed two fingers to her lips and turned, pacing the length of the four thrones and back again.

"How many are there, Igno?"

The gryphon tried to hesitate, not wishing to answer, but his response was still immediate.

"At least 50 strong, Your Majesty. We've not yet caught all of them. Laskar reports that though Dorjan is dead, his mission is far from over. He was not the head of the snake, Majesty."

Susan knew that was the last thing she wanted to hear. Dorjan had almost cost her both of her brothers, and with it, Narnia and her livelihood. And yet, with Dorjan not the head of those who wished harm on Narnia through her Kings, the fact that Dorjan had been found and killed and his mission failed would only leave those remaining to either desperate measures, or another strike.

"Who is their leader?"

Igno could only shake his head. "Those we have caught have yet to speak, Majesty. General Orieus and Laskar have taken an entire contingent out to scour the town, including some members of Edmund's security order. He has given express orders for the heightened security of your majesties. The general believes there is a possibility of others returning to finish the work Dorjan failed to complete. In such a case, King Edmund is at high risk."

Susan understood that. And she was going to make sure that her brother and sister were as safe as they could possibly be. They would need a 24-hour guard, and her brother's chambers at least one security detail. If Dorjan's supporters found out that Peter had left the castle… No.

"Igno, focus every effort on finding King Peter. Make sure no word gets out of his disappearance. Your silence is imperative. Send the security details to my brother's chambers. No one is to enter or leave without my express permission."

"I don't think it will be quite so easy, Susan."

The older Queen was surprised to hear her sister's voice and she turned to face Lucy, who stood in the doorway to the throne room. She looked tired. She looked sad. She looked…terrified.

"Edmund's gone."


End file.
